The Last Night
by JJEmilyReidFan
Summary: Emily never realized how much of a masochist she really was until she met Jennifer Jareau. JJ/Will to begin with... will end up with JJ/Emily. Rated T for violence. This is for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Mainly Emily POV. I do not own CM!
1. The Past

A/N: So I woke up and this had come to me in the middle of the night apparently. I will still update Unhappy which is unfinished and I hope I'll be able to do both at the same rate as I have been. This will not be an epic story though like Unhappy which is working on 70 chapters with little hope of stopping anytime soon. This is for Domestic Violence Awareness Month and also because I dislike Will and wanted to do an Emily point of view story since Unhappy is mainly JJ's point of view on things. Please enjoy! Reviews make me uber happy!

Emily looked out the window of her apartment and looked at the night view of the Capitol. She had never realized how much of a masochist she really was until tonight when she had let herself get too close. She knew she needed to control it but somehow she felt that feeling the pain of not having what she wanted was much better than not feeling anything whatsoever.

She hadn't always been a masochist, not until Jennifer Jareau had walked into her life.

"_I was hoping you could tell me where to sit my stuff, I'm supposed to start today," Emily said to SSA Aaron Hotchner._

"_I'm sorry there must have been a mistake," the agent told her in disbelief. It was just at that moment that SSA Jennifer Jareau had come colliding into Emily Prentiss' life. _

"_I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're ready sir," Agent Jareau informed him. Emily caught a glimpse of JJ's blue eyes and that smile and she hoped there was no mistake. It was that day that she knew she was right where she was meant to be. _

Emily had known from her first day at the BAU, when she had been briefed on protocol and procedures by Agent Jareau, that this blonde agent in front f her, might as well be the death of Emily Prentiss. Of course, Emily would be eternally grateful to JJ, being new to the team wasn't exactly easy. Emily had fallen under the scrutiny of Aaron Hotchner and Jason Gideon until she had worked so hard to prove herself. JJ had been the one to befriend her along with Spencer Reid at first, until Emily had noticed something different about Reid. Emily had seen the pain that JJ went through when she saw the cases and wanted to comfort the blonde agent, instead saying something that only made JJ feel worse.

"_JJ, look at me. Look at me," Emily had tried to get the attention of the bewildered and clearly scared media liaison. JJ looked at her with her blue eyes darkened by fear._

"_Where's Reid?" Emily said. _Shit._ Emily thought to her head. _Why did I have to say that? That is not what she wants to hear. She wants to hear it's not her fault. God Emily, way to make her feel better._ Emily had chastised herself pretty badly after that case. It would've been perfect timing to comfort JJ and even let onto her feelings that were now growing inside of her. Instead she did what she did best, she compartmentalized her feelings. _

Emily groaned as she leaned against her couch and continued to look out across the river. She knew that compartmentalizing was getting harder and harder and that if she didn't distance herself from the blonde, she wouldn't be able to anymore. The pain of knowing that he was with her right now instead of Emily being with her was excruciating.

"_At least we have something fun to look at," Emily had brought up the topic of Detective Will LaMontagne Jr. The team was on a particularly touchy case and was in Miami where Will had shown up. Emily knew that JJ and Will had history, as much as she hated it. Emily also saw the inner turmoil that JJ had behind her eyes. They had been playing a game with each other. Making passing glances, lingering touches, and innuendos were a part of their friendship, and JJ thought it was just a game, to Emily it was everything that kept her alive. Emily had overheard JJ break it off with Will and her heart had completely stopped right there in her chest. Had JJ finally realized that this wasn't just a game? That's when she saw the pain in JJ's eyes, the decision she wasn't sure she wanted to make, Emily could literally smell the fear. That was when she decided that if she couldn't have JJ, if it was too scary, that at least JJ deserved to be happy, even if it was with the New Orleans Detective who Emily thought was a little too harsh with JJ. Later, standing in the bullpen of the Miami Police Department Emily told JJ to go for it._

"_You should go for him," Emily had stated. She nearly threw up in her mouth when she thought what this meant. _

"_What?" JJ thought, confused more than ever. _What the hell Emily? Maybe this is just a game. Fine, Will it is. At least it's the safe choice. I always make the safe choices damn it Jareau._ JJ had thought to herself mentally cursing Emily. _

"_You'd make a cute couple," Emily offered up._

"_You know what?" JJ had said with annoyance as she ran off towards Will. Emily's heart broke into a million pieces when she saw Will pull JJ into one of his too harsh kisses and JJ lost herself into him._

"_It's about time," the comment was made. Morgan look sadly at Emily, knowing that her heart was breaking._

Emily went to her kitchen and poured herself a glass of her finest Scotch. Tonight, the pain wasn't better than being numb. And just tonight, Emily was going to numb her pain in the bitter taste of the Scotch. Tonight, Emily wouldn't shed a tear for JJ, tonight she would criticize herself for allowing herself to get close enough to JJ so that the smell of her lingered and filled her senses.


	2. Rules

A/N: Henry doesn't exist yet for the sake of this story. Will had moved up here to be with JJ but she hasn't gotten pregnant yet! Thanks! Enjoy! As always I own nothing!

Emily Prentiss was a woman with rules. Her rules included things to stay away from, such as roadside motels, and things to not do, such as date a coworker. In the midst of her rules was one she broken a long time ago. She had made a rule not to fall in love with the one and only Jennifer Jareau. She knew it would lead to heartache and disaster. Emily let herself get lost in those blue eyes too often these days and she wondered when she had become such a masochist. The tall, lean agent poured herself another glass of scotch as she felt the warmth spread through her from the alcohol.

Emily knew that she broken that rule and a million rules after that, made only after she had broken the first. The first night JJ had come to her after Will and her had their first fight and Emily found herself staring at JJ's lips and JJ caught her and captured Emily's.

"_I'm so sorry Em. I didn't mean that. I just, I don't know, I'll leave now," JJ had said with tears that had already stained Emily's white shirt running down her face. She had gotten up and ran away sooner than Emily could tell her to wait. _

After the accidental kiss the two agents pretended as if nothing had ever happened but in all reality, Emily thought about it every night when she let her mind go there. She was sick of feeling numb which explained the recent slip-ups where she had allowed herself to get close enough to smell the jasmine of JJ's shampoo or to brush against her arm feeling the electricity flow through her body. She knew that every touch, every smell, and every word that Jennifer Jareau said or did would haunt her for nights to come. Emily swallowed the last drink of her second Scotch and decided that enough was enough. She was going to make herself feel an entirely different kind of pain and decided to run off the pain of a heart break. It probably wasn't the greatest choice after returning home from a tough case and it was dark in D.C. but Emily needed to feel the adrenaline pumping through her blood. Adrenaline was a drug for Emily, just as much as JJ was a drug to her.

Emily laced up her running shoes and threw her hair back with a ponytail holder and began her run. She knew it was a bad idea when her body began to burn halfway through the fun. Emily went a little further and did her best to keep all images of JJ out of her mind. She had no idea where the blonde was tonight, probably home with her man. Will had moved up here a month ago and given up his shield as a detective for New Orleans to be closer to JJ and she had let him move in with her. Emily had assumed that meant that the relationship was going well which hurt her more than the idea of JJ being heartbroken over the detective. At least if she was heartbroken, Emily could comfort her, but for that wasn't the case.

Emily returned from her run and entered her apartment and went to get in the shower. It was then when her doorbell rang. _It's nearly midnight who in the world?_ Emily thought to herself. She knew it hadn't been a good idea to go for a jog so late at night but she didn't regret it one bit. Emily looked through the peephole and cursed when she saw the blonde hair through the small hole. _JJ? What the hell?_ Emily asked herself in her head before opening the door.

Emily could clearly see that JJ was a mess. It was obvious that the blonde had been crying for quite some time.

"JJ? Come in, what's the matter?" Emily asked ushering JJ in the door.

"I'm sorry Em, I know it's late. We, uh, we got in a fight and I didn't know where else to go," JJ cried as Emily grabbed for her and broke her rules again. Emily wrapped her arms around JJ and squeezed allowing JJ's tears to run onto her shirt once again.

"Sit, do you want something to drink?" Emily asked. She needed to regain composure. Part of her wanted to run over to JJ's apartment and kill him while the other part of her want to console and comfort JJ hoping it would turn into something else, something she knew wouldn't happen.

"No I'm fine. I had just gotten home and he was in a bad mood. I shouldn't have provoked him like that. I was just in such a bad mood and I came home and the apartment was like a disaster zone and he asked me why I was late coming home. I told him it was the case. Garcia and I had gotten a drink before I went home but only one Em. It got pretty heated and I had to leave. I couldn't stand there and just let him scream at me," JJ said as she sobbed into Emily. Emily stroked her hair and noticed a red mark around JJ's eye and cheek.

"Jayj, did he touch you?" Emily asked feeling her anger boil in her blood.

"God no. He just screamed. He puts up with a lot. I've been crying for awhile now. This case really got to me and I'm exhausted. I smacked myself a couple of times to wake up and stop crying to drive over here. I didn't see any lights on so I sat in my car until I saw you come back. Why did you go running so late Em?" JJ explained and asked Emily why she had been out running so late. Emily flinched. JJ didn't realize just what calling her Em did to her.

"I had a lot on my mind too, so I needed to clear my head. Here, take some tissues," Emily explained, not lying as she handed her friend some tissues. Just then, JJ's cell phone rang and Emily could clearly see it was Will. Emily left the room to give JJ some level of privacy, knowing that JJ was a very private person. Working with profilers was hard on JJ, she had always wanted to keep her personal life personal and working with a bunch of profilers, she found it hard.

Emily walked back in when she heard JJ hang up the phone with Will.

"Do you mind if I crash on your couch tonight? I want to let him cool off a little bit more before I go back. I'll be gone before you know it in the morning," JJ pleaded with those blue eyes.

"Yeah that's fine. You don't have to stay on the couch, I have a spare room if you'd prefer it," Emily offered.

"Couch is fine. Really, Em, I won't be here long. You won't even notice it," JJ mentioned. _Yeah right, I would notice if you walked into the room_ Emily thought to herself.

"Yeah let me get you a blanket. Are you sure you're ok hun?" Emily said slipping out the term of endearment accidentally breaking yet another one of her rules.

"I'm fine. Thank you. You really are a great friend Emily," JJ said.

"I try. Get some rest Jennifer," Emily said as she handed JJ the blanket. She cursed mentally as she let JJ's first name slip out of her mouth. She didn't notice the look on JJ's face as she hid her own face and headed up to her room.

"Goodnight Em," JJ called out.

"Night."


	3. Gone

A/N: So I got a new laptop and things were crazy today, forgive me if I don't update Unhappy and just update this one. I'm pretty tired from the day and want to get down this chapter and will update Unhappy tomorrow sometime probably while I'm at school. Thank you!! This chapter will be short but is necessary!

Emily woke up and remembered that JJ had spent the night on her couch. She quietly walked downstairs in her shorts and Yale t-shirt to see that the only evidence of JJ even being in her house was the note left in JJ's handwriting on her coffee table. _Thank you for everything Em. I put your blanket back .Will called and apologize, going to head home and try to make it work. Let's do lunch tomorrow say 1?_ _Love, JJ_, the note read in JJ's bubbly cursive. The words JJ had spoken the night before rang in Emily's head.

"_I'll be gone before you know it in the morning," JJ had said_. Evidently she had been planning on leaving before Emily even got up for the morning. It was early, and the team had the next couple days off because of how severe the last case had been. Emily knew she was up too early so she grabbed the blanket JJ had put away and decided to lay on the couch. Of course, this was a bad idea because the smell of JJ's jasmine shampoo had transferred over to the blanket. Emily's chest tightened as she knew this was breaking the rule. Somehow, she just didn't care. She covered herself with the blanket and turned the TV on to watch the news.

Emily drifted to sleep and woke up later in the afternoon to smell the scent of JJ again. She quickly put the blanket up as she came to her senses and made herself busy.

The next day Emily's phone rang. It was the last day that the team had off and JJ was calling her.

"Emily, I'm sorry I need to cancel lunch. Something came up," JJ said with disappointment in her voice.

"What's wrong JJ? Everything ok with you and Will?" Emily asked swallowing the pain when she had to say his name.

"Yeah everything is fine. Will is sick is all, and I don't want to leave him alone," JJ lied.

"Ok, well I hope he feels better. I'll see you at work tomorrow Jayj," Emily hid her disappointment but she knew that lunch with JJ would be one more chance for her to break her own rules over and over again. Emily had decided long ago that she would rather feel the pain of being close to JJ, and she'd rather create rules that would be so often broken, then risk losing JJ by telling her about her feelings or cutting her out of her life completely.

"Yeah see you tomorrow. Thanks Em," JJ ended her phone call and left Emily wondering if Will was really sick. She remembered the red mark JJ had on her face the night that she had come crying at her door. Was it something more than just her smacking herself to keep awake or the crying?

Emily decided it was time to go for another jog except this time, she allowed herself to think about JJ. She thought about the first time JJ had met Will and the aspects of their relationship. She realized that Will could have a temper and that JJ had come to her door at night crying quite a few more times in the past few months of the relationship. Emily had never seen a bruise or a mark on JJ before and she hoped for Will's sake that it stayed that way but she had her suspicions. The more she ran and the more she thought of their relationship the more her anger built. As her anger built Emily pushed herself that much harder. She knew that when she got back home if she didn't take a hot shower her muscles would be screaming at her the next day at work and she didn't need to explain to Morgan why she was walking funny.

Emily decided that when she got back from her run, she would take a shower and go out. She did this sometimes after she had gotten particularly too close to Agent Jareau. She would go out to the nearest bar and just drink herself into numbness. Some nights she would find the random blonde to take home with her but tonight wasn't about finding someone like JJ to fill her needs, it was about numbing the pain she had inflicted on herself and the pain she knew JJ was going through when her and Will fought. Tonight she would forget about the blonde media liaison as she went to a club and decided to forget everything except for the music and the drinks. She knew she'd pay for it in the morning but she knew she wouldn't have to explain to her brotherly friend Derek Morgan. If it was one thing he understood, it was a good time. Tonight was for forgetting Jennifer Jareau, tomorrow she would remember her all over again.


	4. Pain

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! You guys are awesome! Here is another chapter… warning for language because I drop the f-bomb towards the end… had to or else it wouldn't have the same effect. I do not own Criminal Minds and if I did… JJ and Emily would for sure be a thing and Will would be so far out of the picture. To those of you who want Will out of the picture… that time will come but please have patience and know that he isn't going to leave without a fight. Love you guys!

The night of drinking and dancing had definitely done something to numb the pain that was Jennifer Jareau to Emily but when she woke up the next morning she was paying for it. Her head spun and her mouth was dry and for a second she thought about calling in, but she knew that she'd just end up going in anyway if they had a case and she needed to see JJ. She needed to see for herself if the blonde was lying about Will having the flu. There had been something in JJ's voice, as if it wasn't JJ. It hit Emily that it had been not JJ's voice but Agent Jareau, press liaison who had told her about not being able to make it to lunch. It was JJ's way of distancing herself away from hurting Emily.

Emily arrived to work and went straight for the coffee to see Morgan follow her.

"Wild night last night Prentiss?" he asked goading for gossip.

"I went out for a little bit. I'm pretty sure I had a little too much," Emily said trying to laugh as she made her coffee. Today it would be black, no sugars, no cream because she needed it strong and she needed some aspirin.

"I have some aspirin in my desk. Everything ok? You don't look like yourself," Morgan asked cautiously. He knew that Emily was gay, in fact he hadn't cared less or been surprised when he had found out. It didn't take a profiler for Morgan to see that Emily had feelings for JJ from day one and his heart had broken when JJ had ran to Will.

"I'm fine. It was a long weekend. Did JJ come in yet?" Emily asked knowing that JJ was always in before her and if she wasn't something was up.

"Yeah princess, but she hasn't left her office all morning. Something about being up to her ears in case files. Something happen?" Morgan asked seeing the pain in Emily's eyes.

"It's nothing I'm sure. Did you happen to see her when she came in this morning?" Emily asked curiously trying not to tip Morgan off to anything.

"Just her flash by, she went to her office pretty quickly. Why?" Morgan was beginning to think something was up.

"I don't want to talk about it because I don't know anything yet and it's really her business. She cancelled lunch on me yesterday because supposedly Will had the flu," Emily said with a tinge of bitterness.

"You don't believe her?"

"Not really no," Emily said releasing her doubt.

"I'm here if you need me," Morgan said before returning to his desk.

Emily decided to make the trip up to JJ's office bringing her a coffee mug full of coffee just in case she had needed some. She knocked on the door.

"Come in," JJ yelled through the door. She was sitting at her desk working on reports and looking through case files when she saw it Emily. _Shit!_ JJ thought to herself.

"Hey, brought you some coffee," Emily mentioned as she handed the coffee over to the tired looking agent.

"Thanks. These case files are never-ending. I swear someday my desk is just going to get swallowed up by them," JJ tried to joke as she tried to hide her black eye.

"How's Will?" Emily asked not really paying attention just yet to JJ's face. She was too scared to look up. Emily was too afraid to look into the depths of JJ's blue eyes, for fear she would get lost in them once again or that she would find fear and pain herself. She didn't want JJ to see the pain and fear in her eyes either so Emily attempted to compartmentalize.

"Will?" JJ asked slightly confused. It was rare for Emily to ask about her live-in boyfriend.

"Yeah, is he feeling better? You said he had the flu yesterday?" Emily asked confused and did her best not to profile her so called best friend.

"Oh right, yeah he's better," JJ said trying to cover it up. This morning she had spent an hour trying to cover up the black eye and was surprised Emily hadn't noticed it yet. Emily had been entirely distracted by the mere presence of JJ until she snapped out of it.

"What the hell happened to your eye Jennifer?" Emily asked concerned and angrily. _There I go breaking yet another fucking rule_.Emily thought to herself.

"Oh this? It's nothing, I was rough housing with my nephew and he elbowed me in the eye," JJ tried to cover up the truth.

"Your nephew? JJ you don't have a nephew," Emily protested angrily. "He did that to you. That's why you cancelled lunch isn't it?" she raised her voice.

"Don't act like you know me Emily. For your information Will didn't do this. Look, I'm just a little distracted now and clumsier than normal? I hit it on something. No big deal. Now if you don't mind we have a case," JJ snapped at Emily as she grabbed her files and stormed out of the room leaving Emily visibly shaken. It wasn't like JJ to snap at Emily and Emily knew that JJ definitely did not have a nephew. She had a large suspicion that the bruise that now resided on the left side of JJ's face was the red mark she had seen on JJ's face the night she had shown up on her doorstep after that fight with Will.

It would have to wait because the team was going on a case and Emily just hoped that the time away from Will, JJ would come to her senses and talk to her, but she wasn't counting on it because when JJ got mad, she usually held a grudge for quite awhile.


	5. Cold Shoulder

A/N: This took me awhile probably because I am so tired so all errors are due to my exhaustion. I'm tired just not ready to hit the hay yet… and I keep staying up late. Anyway, yes JJ is in some major denial but have no fear it will hit her soon. Expect the unexpected! Thank you for the reviews!

The case had been a particularly rough case on Emily mainly because the fight still hung heavy on her head that she had had with JJ. The entire time they had worked on the case, JJ had said a total of four words to Emily and it was killing her. She knew she didn't want to apologize, she had done nothing wrong. JJ was the one who had lied and snapped at her. Emily didn't know it but JJ had no intentions of apologizing either at least not just yet. It wasn't because she wasn't sorry and it wasn't because she didn't miss Emily. JJ didn't want to admit that she had lied and that Emily was in every way right.

After the team had arrived back from the case Emily decided that the team needed to go out.

"Let's get some drinks. That case was a tough one and we haven't been out in ages," Emily suggested to the entire team. Everyone had agreed except JJ who had remained silent. Emily looked at her with pleading eyes. Tonight Emily didn't care about the pain, she missed the normal JJ and would bear with the pain to get the taste that she needed.

"Jayj? You coming?" Emily asked pleading with her. She met sad blue eyes and she instantly knew that JJ was going to say no and she wasn't entirely sure of the reason why.

"I'm sorry I can't. Will's expecting me," JJ denied the invitation with a sigh of regret. She never knew what mood Will would be in when she got home from cases. JJ saw Emily's eyes turn from a warm brown to a cold one when she mentioned Will and she hoped that Will was in a good mood tonight. She knew that Emily wasn't going to just stand by and let her lie like she had before and she wasn't even entirely sure why Emily had let go so easily. The truth was, Emily had been caught off guard by JJ's denial. Emily had always seen JJ as a strong independent woman. Emily saw JJ as one who wouldn't put up with physical or emotional abuse and wasn't sure why she was in such denial about it right now.

"Fine, see you tomorrow then," Emily said as the team left to go out. When it had come out, it had come out with a little more anger than she had really meant it to. While Emily was mad at JJ for lying, she really just wanted JJ to stop being mad at her and go back to the way things were.

The team hit the bar where Emily and Morgan made a point to dance to nearly every song that they could dance to. Emily downed a few scotches on the rocks which numbed the pain of JJ being so angry with her.

"Princess, what's up with you and JJ?" Morgan had asked after they had gotten done dancing.

"She's mad at me because I asked her about her black eye and I knew she was lying. It's not big. I'm sure she'll come around soon. I hope," Emily said with a sadness filling her brown eyes.

"Me too. If that LaMontagne is laying hands on her Emily, you just say the word, I'll go rough him up," Morgan said protective of Emily. The two had a brother sister relationship and he hated to see her in so much pain. Emily nodded in agreement and felt her phone buzz in her pocket. She held it up to Morgan to signify that she had a phone call and stepped outside. She realized they had been at the bar for two hours now and it was JJ who was calling her.

"Prentiss," Emily answered in the strongest voice she could muster out.

"Em, it's me. Can we talk? In person?" JJ asked and her voice showed evidence of how shaken up she was.

Emily panicked and wasn't sure what to do. She couldn't drive and her car was actually still at the BAU as Reid had agreed to be the designated driver of the night.

"Umm, sure, but I don't have my car, and I've been drinking. Where do you want to talk?" Emily asked nervously.

"I'll pick you up. We can go to the park by your house and I'll just bring you to work in the morning to get your car," JJ decided. Tonight, she needed her best friend. Emily sighed and told JJ what bar they had gone too and within fifteen minutes JJ was there. Emily could see that the younger blonde had been crying, again. This was a sight Emily was beginning to see too often from the strong media liaison and the truth was, it was breaking Emily more and more each time she saw it. Each time she saw tears well up in those ocean blue eyes, she wanted to wipe them away, whisper in JJ's ear that it would be ok, and tell her that she would never make her cry, she would never hurt her. It was hard keeping the feelings to herself especially working in such close quarters but she knew it was what JJ wanted right now.

JJ silently drove to the park that was around the corner from Emily's house and walked over to the swing sets.

"Jayj?" Emily asked quietly as she sat in the swing next to JJ.

"Emily, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I really don't want to talk about the black eye. He's sorry, he won't do it again," JJ blurted out. Emily laughed inside her head. She had heard that story before.

"And if he does?"

"He won't. Look the only reason I wanted to talk to you, I'm sorry for snapping at you and I'm sorry for lying. I can't be mad at you anymore. You are my best friend Emily," JJ said as a tear rolled down her face.

"What's wrong JJ? Talk to me," Emily asked getting off the swing and sitting in front of JJ's keeping her still.

"When I got home, he had been drinking and we got into a fight. I left to let him cool down again. I don't know what I'm doing wrong Emily. I work because I love to work but also because it keeps a roof over our head and he can't seem to keep the apartment clean. It looked like he had had a lot to drink and he got pretty upset," JJ said trying not to show the fear in her voice.

"JJ, why do you let him treat you like that? You are better than him. There is someone out in this world who would never hurt you, not even 'on accident'," Emily said with air quotes. "There is someone in this world who will love you no matter your job or your flaws," _ME, JJ, ME, I love you and I would never hurt you. _Emily screamed in her head. She knew that this was not the time.

"He doesn't mean it. And he moved his entire life up here for me," JJ began to protest and start in on the good qualities of Will. She knew she couldn't say she loved him because it was something she was growing unsure of with every day and every fight. JJ's phone rang and she answered it. Emily could hear a drunken Will on the other line demanding to know where she was. JJ spit out that she was with Emily and wouldn't be coming home that night and Emily knew she in for it again.

"I'm sorry Em. Do you mind if I sleep on your couch one more night?" JJ asked with her eyes pleading with Emily.

"That's fine. At least you won't disappear on me this time, you're my ride to work," Emily agreed. She knew she was only agreeing because she was so masochistic and it was getting worse as the Scotches she had earlier were beginning to wear off.

"Thank you," JJ said she got up and hugged Emily. Emily could feel the pain in her chest as she inhaled the scent of jasmine in JJ's hair. It was going to be a long night.


	6. Secrets

A/N: You guys are awesome! It is very true that we never know what we will do in a situation until we are in that situation and that leaving is not always the easiest thing to do. And yes, Will does deserve a punch in the nuts… but he will get what is coming to him, I promise! Unfortunately that's all I can tell you and to as always expect the unexpected. Things will get worse before they can get better and before these two star crossed lovers can be together. By the way, tonight's episode was amazing!!! Loved the interactions between our two favorite ladies especially when Emily stood up for JJ in front of Derek!

JJ slept fitfully on Emily's couch that night, she was still shaken from the fight she had with Will but there was something else troubling her as well. JJ had noticed Emily's reactions and the question of why she stayed with Will and that there was someone out there that loved her and wouldn't hurt her was stuck in JJ's mind. That night she dreamt of Emily and it left her very confused in the morning when Emily came downstairs ready for work.

"Good morning. You ok?" Emily asked with a very concerned look on her face. She saw the look of contemplation when she allowed herself to look into JJ's eyes. The bruise of the black eye was beginning to fade and JJ could nearly cover it up all the way with makeup but she couldn't hide the tears that she been crying most of the night.

"It was a long night. I just want to make this right Emily," JJ said with a sad look of desperation. JJ wasn't even sure why she wanted it to work out with Will. Possibly because she had been too afraid to face her emotions when it came to Emily and her feelings or maybe it was because she was comfortable with Will. She had grown to love him but if anyone were to ask her if she was in love, she knew she wouldn't be able to answer that question, and that wasn't what love was supposed to be like. It had weighed heavy on her mind last night.

"Only you know what is right but if he's hurting you, I can't just stand by and watch. I want you to know that. I love you JJ and I can't stand to sit by and watch you get hurt. You don't deserve that," Emily knew she could get away with saying she loved JJ and it coming off just as a concerned friend and she allowed herself to embrace JJ. Thirty seconds into the embrace and JJ was sobbing into her. Emily just stood there rubbing circles on the blondes back with one hand and the other hand holding her head. Inside, pieces of Emily were breaking right along with JJ.

"Thank you Emily. Please, just let me deal with this with Will on my own. He's just stressed because he can't find a job and he's not a fan of it up here but I refuse to leave the BAU. He'll come around I hope. We should probably get ready for work," JJ said when she was done sobbing. She wiped the last evidence of the tears away from her eyes and went for her go bag to get ready. She had been living out a go bag quite frequently lately between cases and the nights she had spent at Emily's but what Emily didn't know was that JJ had been spending the night at Garcia's too.

The women got ready for work and JJ drove them to work. The car ride was silent and Emily didn't want to make the awkward silence even worse by breaking it by cracking one of her horrible jokes so they rode in silence.

"Em?" JJ asked before they got out of the car.

"Yeah Jayj?" Emily replied softly.

"Thank you again. I appreciate the spot on your couch and the shoulder. You're a great friend that I'm honored to have," JJ said softly looking down at her hands.

"Je…JJ the spots open, the door is open anytime but you can't put yourself through this ok? And you're welcome, you're the best friend I have JJ and I couldn't stand to lose you, so I'm here for you but remember what I said. There is someone out there who wouldn't hurt you and would love you no matter your flaws," Emily mentioned one last time before they got out of JJ's car and walked into the BAU.

A few days later, Emily's couch had thankfully been unused the previous few nights and she figured it meant that JJ and Will had worked things out and as much as she hated it, she needed JJ to be happy. It was her own sick way of saying what she was doing was the right thing. Emily's nights had been filled of dreams and nightmares of sorts of the blonde and she couldn't get those blue pleading eyes out of her mind.

While Emily was working on some reports, she realized she was missing a file and knew that Garcia had it. Emily made the trek to Garcia's "lair" as she called it with her "babies". If there were two things Garcia was passionate about, they were Derek Morgan and her computers. Emily walked into the room to be greeted by a working Garcia.

"Hey sugar plum. What can I do for you?" Garcia asked thinking it was JJ who had walked into her lab. The blonde had been frequenting the office quite frequently.

"Garcia, do you have the Jenkins file? I need it to finish that damn report," Emily said. She didn't mind reports but the team had spent the last few days catching up on reports and she could only imagine the hell JJ was looking at in her office regarding cases.

"Oh Em, I thought you were JJ. Yeah, here it is," Garcia handed the file over without ever actually looking at Emily.

"Garcia, what's going on? Why did you think I was JJ? Is she ok?" Emily asked with her tone of voice changing to a demanding need to know tone.

"Yeah, she's fine. I just thought since she's been spending some time down here that it was her, no big," Garcia said quickly.

"Garcia, you're lying. What's wrong with JJ?" Emily asked as her heart sank.

"I hate working with profilers. Look I promised I wouldn't tell you, but she's been crashing at my house every so often because her and Will are fighting pretty badly. He's been drinking more and sometimes she's afraid to even go home," Garcia blurted out.

"When has she been crashing at your place? She's been crashing on my couch a few nights too," Emily asked with conviction behind her voice.

"The last two nights, and the night before we went on the case. I let her stay and she made me promise not to tell you that she lied about Will being sick. Please don't tell her though Emily. I know you love her but she needs to see this on her own. She'll come through, I know how she feels about you," Garcia mentioned.

"Is she ok though Garcia? And you do?" Emily asked astonished. Her anger was subsided by the fact that Garcia had just mentioned that she knew how JJ felt about her. _What does she mean?_ Emily thought in her head.

"She's fine. Just give her time. Yes I do, I spotted the connection from day one. Silly girl, you know I'm the love goddess and oracle of all knowledge. I'm practically omniscient. So you say she's been staying at your place too?" Garcia confirmed her knowledge.

"Yeah, Garcia I can't stand and watch her get hurt. Have you noticed bruises on her other than that black eye?" Emily asked curiously.

"No, god no, he's just gotten pretty angry with her and I think she's nervous it will happen again," Garcia concluded.

Emily went back to her desk and got nothing done the rest of the day. She wondered why the blonde hadn't come to her the past few nights if things had been bad again. She realized that she was probably just trying to not make Emily worry but Emily knew that she wanted to be the one there for JJ. She hoped she would get the chance if there were to be a time when JJ needed her. Emily heart warmed knowing that JJ reciprocated the feelings for her but then was angered by the fact that JJ was so insistent on making things work with the detective. The anger was enough to put Emily in a bad mood and she avoided the blonde the rest of the day subconsciously. It was going to be a long night that involved a few scotches and she hoped for her own sake and for JJ's sake that Will was a little less violent tonight and that JJ wouldn't feel the need to show up on her doorstep.


	7. Misdirected Anger

A/N: Sorry I took two nights off from this story. I had a lot going on and just couldn't seem to get in the mood to write this. Thank you for the reviews and the patience!

The night went quietly for Emily as she numbed her pain with alcohol. JJ hadn't come knocking on her door crying and her phone had remained quiet. The alcohol had for some reason that night done quite the opposite of numbing for Emily though. It was like her heart was being ripped from as every time she closed her eyes she could see the sobbing JJ and see the last remaining evidence of the bruise Will had left on her face. Emily choked back a sob and decided to call it a night knowing she would spend the rest of the evening laying awake staring at the ceiling or that the picture of her, JJ, and Garcia that she had beside her bed. The picture had been taken during one of the many girls' night outs that Emily used to attend.

The next day Emily woke up with the lasting effects of her drinking clouding her thoughts as she got ready for work. She was still bitter against JJ for not coming to her when she had gone to Garcia's place instead. Emily felt that by JJ going to Garcia's that she was hiding the problems Will and her were having Emily's masochistic side wanted to be the one to comfort JJ, wanted to have any and all contact with JJ.

Emily arrived at work just in time for JJ to announce that they had a case and were heading to Texas. Emily groaned and realized how mad at JJ she really was. She made it through the briefing and boarded the jet and chose a seat the furthest away from the media liaison. The flight was mainly spent throwing ideas out at each other about the victimology and the signature of the unsub. When JJ had suggested something, Emily had immediately made a snide remark about the idea and shot it down. The team hadn't really noticed it but JJ's heart broke just a little bit and she wondered what she had done to deserve the snide remark and beat herself up about it. She had been doing that a lot, beating herself up when someone, mainly Will, had degraded her. She was blaming herself for her relationship going down the drain and Will always being in such a sour mood.

The jet landed at the Dallas air strip and the team headed to the main headquarters. While the team worked the case Emily tried to have little contact with JJ and she was doing it pretty well and JJ noticed that she hadn't been spoken to directly by Emily and this was angering her as well.

The team was able to solve the case within a few days of being in Dallas and headed back to headquarters in Quantico, Va. When they arrived, JJ was ready to confront Emily. She had held out from confronting her while they were working on the case. The last thing the team needed was for the two agents to be at each other's throats while trying to find the man who had kidnapped and killed four children.

"Emily, can I have a word with you in my office?" JJ asked in her Agent Jareau's voice.

_Shit!_ Emily thought in her head. She knew that the time was come to face JJ and Emily knew that voice. Any time she had used that voice with her, it meant JJ was one mad FBI agent. Emily made her way to JJ's office and immediately regretted doing it. She knew this could be ugly and making JJ even madder was not what JJ needed and Emily knew that.

"What the hell were all those snide remarks about back in Dallas Emily? Did you think I wasn't going to notice you not talking to me?" JJ made the accusations against Emily and demanded answers.

"Did you decide that I wasn't good enough to help you out with your problems with Mr. I-hit-women and so you turned to Garcia?" Emily spit out between her teeth.

"Seriously? That's what this is about Emily? I thought I was doing you a favor! I know how you like your privacy and I didn't want to intrude. Yes, Will and I are having problems. I guess I'm just not doing a good enough job at being a good girlfriend and a good friend either it seems. You know what, don't worry about it because I'm done trying to be so perfect," JJ spit out everything she needed to as tears once again threatened the strength of her voice. She looked tense and almost sore like and was moving very carefully. Emily immediately regretted being so angry with JJ. She stepped towards her to embrace her and when she did she saw JJ flinch.

"JJ, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so angry. You are a great friend. What's going on?" Emily asked concerned.

"No Emily, don't even try to act like you give a damn about this. And why were you talking to Garcia anyway? Stay out of my business Emily," JJ yelled at Emily as she wiped away the single tear that fell from her eye. JJ's heart sunk as she realized the pain she had just caused Emily as Emily turned white faced and walked out the door.

Emily left the BAU and headed straight home. She didn't allow herself to cry until she was in the comfort of her home. That night, she sat looking out her apartment window that overlooked the Capital and sat there for hours staring numbly out at the view. When the tears came Emily didn't think they would stop. She cried for JJ being stuck in what she knew what a horribly abusive relationship with a man Emily wasn't so sure JJ even loved and she cried for herself because she felt as if she had just lost the one and only person that made her life worth living, what made her life full of color.


	8. Need

A/N: These few chapters will not be pretty but Will will get what he deserves. Sorry for the cliffhanger! It felt like the right place to stop. Thanks for the reviews!!

Emily snapped out of her stupor when she felt her phone ringing and saw Garcia's number popping up. A feeling in her gut told her that it wasn't good if Garcia was calling her and she was thankful that she hadn't taken to her ever lowering supply of Scotch as she wiped away her tears and answered her phone.

"Yeah Garcia," Emily said rather harshly. There was a pause and Emily regretted answering so harshly.

"Em, it's JJ," Garcia was able to choke out in between her rapid breathing and shakiness in her voice.

"What about her Garcia?" Emily asked not even sure if she wanted to know. _Not tonight. Please not tonight._ Emily almost prayed in her head that tonight was not the night that Will turned his most violent. Emily had never really known what had sparked the fights and she remembered briefly JJ telling her that he had been drinking lately and she knew things could turn ugly when alcohol was involved.

"I'm taking her to the hospital. Please, Em, she needs you right now. She won't admit it but she does," Garcia begged. She knew about the fight because JJ had gone home in a sour mood to Will and then ended up on Garcia's doorstep like many nights before when she hadn't turned up on Emily's. Emily swallowed hard and thought about why JJ would be going to the hospital and knew it couldn't be good. She grabbed her credentials and sidearm, subconsciously knowing it would help protect JJ if Will happened to show up.

"Which hospital Garcia? I'll be right there," Emily asked harshly as she grabbed her keys and left her apartment.

"I'm taking her to Memorial. Thank you Emily, I just know that she needs you," Garcia quickly hung up the phone. Emily's mind went into overdrive when Garcia hung up the phone and she broke a few traffic laws on the way to the hospital. She rushed into the emergency room to see Garcia sitting in a chair with her head in her hands leaned over.

"Garcia, where's JJ?" Emily asked panicked.

"Thank god you're here Emily. She's in bad shape. They took her into get examined and I told her I was going to wait out here. She doesn't know I called you, in fact she told me not to call you but I couldn't not. I know she's feeling pretty guilty about your fight earlier. She called me sobbing and talking rather incoherently. I was with Derek hanging out and I left him to go get her. He, uh, he beat her Em. And I'm going to have to tell Morgan why I had to leave so fast, and he's going to want to hunt him down and kill him. I want him dead Em and you are too and I didn't realize but I guess he's been doing it for awhile. She has to leave him right Emily?" Garcia rambled on as tears flowed down her face. Emily hugged the usual quirky blonde as anger boiled in her veins. Will LaMontagne had messed with the wrong FBI agent. Right now all Emily was concerned about was getting to JJ and seeing the damage.

"Where is she?"Emily asked needing to see JJ for herself.

"Exam room three. Emily I'm warning you, he did a number, she's going to need some time to heal. I just hope she's us be there for her," Garcia warned Emily of what lay ahead.

Emily made her way to the exam room and saw JJ a second before JJ saw her. JJ's hair was wild and matched the wild scared look in her eyes. It was like she was in her own little world. Emily was able to walk up to her and place a hand on a bruised arm and JJ jumped.

"JJ, look at me, it's Emily," Emily said trying to get the fear in JJ's eyes to calm down.

"Em, please, I don't want you to see me like this. He just went a little overboard is all. I'm fine and he's sorry," JJ began as she tried to swallow her own words. She knew that no one was buying it anymore.

"JJ, you are in the hospital with 65% of your body covered in various bruises ranging from what looks like three weeks old to less than an hour old. I am not going to sit here and listen to you tell me that Will is sorry. You did not deserve this Jayj. Look at me when I tell you that you do not deserve this," Emily said trying to hold back her own tears. JJ looked at her briefly and then looked away in shame. If only Emily knew.

The doctor came in to draw some blood to run tests and Emily sat in the chair next to the bed where JJ sat in, still looking wild eyed as if she had run out in front of a car.

"JJ, talk to me. What happened? When did this starting happening?" Emily asked trying to make sense of it all. JJ remained silent at first and Emily dared to grab a hold of JJ's hand and just hold her. JJ squeezed onto it like her life depended on it and Emily could swear she felt the need JJ felt.

"Em, I don't want to talk about it right now. I'm sorry for earlier though. I'm tired is all and I get cranky and then I provoke him and he'd been drinking, he's already called me a thousand times to tell me he's sorry," JJ tried to brush it off again.

"No, Jennifer, you can't just think he's sorry. Look at you, I'm surprised your conscious," Emily felt herself grow nauseous as she thought of what Will could've done to JJ. JJ felt herself grow nauseous for no reason at all.

"I think I'm going to be sick Em," JJ said. Emily hurried to grab the sick pan that was in the exam room and held back JJ's hair as she got sick into the pan. Emily gave her something to wipe her mouth off and went to go find a doctor.

The doctor came in and brought JJ some water and ice chips.

"Considering your condition, I want to keep you overnight for observation and to run another test or two," the doctor explained leaving a very confused Emily and JJ. Emily looked at JJ and got the look of permission to stay and hear the rest of what the doctor had to say. The entire time they had sat in the exam room JJ hadn't let go of Emily's hand and she was still holding on for dear life.

"My condition? Tests? What's going on here?" JJ asked confused. Other than being extremely sore she felt fine. The nausea had subsided and she had just seen it as a side effect of all the adrenaline she had pumping through her veins.

"Ms. Jareau, you're pregnant," the doctor announced. Emily stood wide eyed as her jaw dropped but the news hit JJ an entirely different way as she felt her whole world going black.


	9. Wake up

A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger! This story will probably be filled with them in the next few chapters. All errors are mine. Microsoft Word isn't doing a very good grammar check and I can only do what I do! Enjoy?! It's not quite as a rough chapter as the previous one but definitely shows the effect of violence.

"JJ, wake up sweetheart, wake up. Come on its Emily, it's going to be ok," Emily tried to gently shake a passed out JJ awake. The doctor checked her vitals and realized what the problem was.

"Her blood pressure is too high. Combined with the beating she has received and the shock the pregnancy it has skyrocketed. I'm going to hook her up to an IV of fluids and something for the pain and get her into a room. I suggest you stay with her," the doctor suggested as Emily let him work. She surveyed JJ's body but for once it wasn't because of the same reason. Emily gasped and felt her heart break in places she thought could be broken anymore when she saw the severity of some of the bruises. JJ's back, arms, and face were covered in various bruises. The ones on her back and arms were a mixture of new and old Emily noticed as the doctor maneuvered around an unconscious JJ and lifted her into a mobile bed. Emily only let go of JJ's hand when it was physically impossible to hold on to it.

The doctor got JJ to a private room and told Emily what to expect when JJ finally woke up.

"She may be a little confused and may not remember why she fainted. Let her know softly. I assume you two are very close and she needs to know that you are going to be here for her. The other lady that brought her in, do you want her to come in too?" the doctor asked referring to Garcia. Emily had almost forgotten about Garcia and wondered if the blonde had stayed to wait. _Of course she had, they are best friends. Garcia wouldn't just leave._ The little voice in Emily's head told her that Garcia would stick by JJ until her dying day because they were best friends.

"Yeah that's fine. Thank you doctor," Emily said before stroking a strand of JJ's hair out of her face and was pained to see the two black eyes that had newly formed and the various cuts scattered over her. Any other time, this would have been the doing of the unsub but it had been the one person that Emily had pushed JJ towards. Emily knew she couldn't beat herself up about what had happened because JJ had willingly going towards Will but the masochistic side of Emily blamed herself for this and felt the pain tenfold. She sat down in the chair next to JJ's bed and put her head down as she held onto JJ's hand.

"How's my girl doing?" Garcia said quietly as she entered the room.

"She passed out. The doctor said she should be waking up as soon as they get her blood pressure down. Looks like I'm in it for the long run. He doesn't think with her condition that she should be alone for awhile and with Will still out there, I don't think so either," Emily explained with thinking that Garcia didn't know exactly what JJ's condition was.

"Why is her blood pressure high? What condition Emily?" Garcia asked with her voice laced with concern.

"Oh Garcia I'm sorry! I forgot you don't know. She'll need to tell you herself, so don't tell her I clued you in on it. They ran some tests and she had thrown up right before hand. JJ's pregnant Garcia," Emily said wiping the stress away from her face. She knew that right now was not the time to give in her to pain and she needed to be strong. She saw the look of shock on Garcia's face.

Emily felt the hand that was in her hand flex a little bit and she immediately turned her attention to the blonde in the hospital bed that lay unconscious. Emily saw her eyes flutter a little bit.

"Jayj, come on wake up sweetheart, it's Emily. Please wake up," Emily begged. At this point, she didn't care about the terms of endearment or about calling JJ, Jennifer. All she wanted was to see her blue eyes open; she could deal with the rest of their pain later. JJ's eyes opened briefly, blinking fast as she came to and saw her surroundings.

"Emily, what happened?" JJ rasped out. Pain shot throughout her entire body and she felt a wave of nausea.

"Do you remember what happened before you blacked out?" Emily asked not knowing where to begin.

"I know why I'm here, can't forget that but why did I black out?" JJ asked forgetting the news that the doctor had so suddenly sprung on her.

"The doctor had come back with your tests results and JJ, look at me. You're pregnant. They want to keep you overnight to run more tests, make sure the baby is ok with all the stress. Your blood pressure went up and you passed out. Look at me Jennifer. I'm not leaving. I'm going to stay here for as long as you are in here and then the doctor thinks you are going to need to have someone stay with you for awhile make you keep your blood pressure down," Emily explained never losing eye contact with JJ. The doctor had put her on something to lower and keep her blood pressure down but Emily didn't want to chance JJ passing out on her again.

"You don't have to Emily. I will be fine. I couldn't expect you to do that, not with how I've been lately. I've been a horrible friend," JJ tried to let Emily know that she was free to go, free of the pain that she knew she had caused Emily.

"Don't even think about that Jennifer. I'm right here and I'm going to be here for as long as you want me to be. Until we find Will, you need someone to be with you. Plus you are going to be in some pain for a little while your body recuperates. JJ you need to tell us though just what happened. Not right now, but we need to know," Emily told her as she brushed a hair out of JJ's eyes and kissed the blonde on the forehead. She mentally berated herself for doing it but JJ immediately felt a shiver and missed the contact when it was gone.

JJ was pregnant, Emily knew that this meant that JJ would have a lasting reminder of Will and would be more inclined to keep Will in her life and Emily thought this would be bad for her in the end but right now, right here, JJ needed her. JJ's mind was running circles around herself. _A baby? There goes my chances with Emily. She doesn't deserve this_. JJ thought to herself. If only she knew Emily's thoughts at that same time.


	10. Nightmare

A/N: I wasn't going write again tonight but 99% of your reviews make my heart soar and are very heartfelt! So because of that being said I have decided to give you guys a happy ending chapter for once. As all of you want Will to be tortured, killed, etc, have patience! He will get what he deserves in time! But the reviews saying what you want done to Will make me laugh! You all are great!

Emily slept by JJ's side that night in the hospital not letting go of her hand. JJ stayed quiet for most of the night and Emily could understand where she was coming from. JJ had suffered from a traumatic event and was dealing with it her own way. Emily had never seen JJ go through quite so much in her life, even though she was positive the blonde had survived a traumatic event as a child.

JJ had fallen asleep finally as Emily sat and watched her sleep and held her hand. Every time she would move her hand to resituate the blonde would squeeze it to keep a hold of the brunette. She was afraid that this baby would cause Emily to leave her and she feared it would ruin what little chance she thought she may have with her.

Emily had dozed off for a few hours with her head on the hospital bed while sitting on the chair next to the bed. She woke up abruptly to JJ mumbling and tossing and turning. Emily knew she needed to wake up JJ before her blood pressure rose too high and they had another fainting. She could barely hear JJ's whimpers and her heart broke when she heard JJ mutter the words no and stop in her sleep. Emily quickly yet gently shook JJ awake and saw the fear in her eyes.

"JJ, look at me, it was just a dream. Wake up sweetie," Emily said quietly trying not to scare JJ even further.

"I was there all over again. Emily I'm leaving him. I have to do what is right for this baby but I'm scared. I don't know if I can do this alone," JJ admitted her fears. Emily's heart soared when JJ finally said she was leaving Will but fear quickly replaced the happiness.

"JJ, we are best friends, do you really think I'm going to let you go through this alone? Look, the doctor doesn't want you to be by yourself for awhile and I think you should stay with me, especially if Will decides he wants to get violent again. We need to keep that baby safe and healthy as well as you safe and healthy Jennifer," Emily said allowing herself the privilege of using JJ's name again.

"Emily, I don't want you to feel obligated. You deserve to have a life," JJ protested knowing that she wanted to live with Emily just as much as Emily wanted to her to live there but she wasn't sure how to express her feelings, especially so fresh out of what had just happened.

"You're my life," Emily whispered under her breath. JJ heard it.

"What did you just say Emily? I could've just sworn that you said 'you're my life'?" JJ asked shocked.

"Oh you heard that? JJ, you are the first person who befriended me here and you mean everything to me. You are going to need someone to talk to when you do decide to talk about what he did to you and I don't want him just showing up and doing it again. No arguments JJ," Emily said trying to cover her story up.

"Thank you Em. I will tell you soon I promise. How much longer until I'm out of here? I want to get out of here. But I don't want to go home," JJ asked with pleading eyes. Emily understood and made sure to remember to call Garcia to get someone to go over to JJ's to grab her some things for the time being.

"You don't have to. I'll get someone from the team to go make sure your apartment is empty and Garcia can grab whatever you need. Go back to sleep and when you wake up I think you'll be able to go home if everything is going ok," Emily said as she once again kissed JJ on the forehead. JJ leaned into this one and Emily lingered a little bit longer than normal. Emily's heart skipped a beat as she felt JJ lean into the kiss. She knew it was too soon for anything to be happening other than healing but she could've sworn for a second that JJ was feeling the same way about her. Emily snapped out of it when she saw just how much pain the blonde was in with all the bruises.

"So you are seriously leaving Will Jayj? For good?" Emily asked with some hope in her voice.

"I can't let him do this to me anymore. It's gone on too long. If I don't do it for me, I have to do it for this baby. But I don't want Will to have anything to do with the baby either Emily and I'm scared he's going to come after me when he finds out or beg for me to come back and I just don't know how strong I can be. He moved his entire life up here for me," JJ explained to Emily. Emily wasn't used to the blonde expressing her fears and marveled in the strength JJ had to hold it all together and do what was right for the little baby growing inside of her.

"I'm not going to let that happen. And I will be there when this baby is born to help you every step of the way I can JJ. Just call me Aunt Emily," Emily said chuckling. Emily had always imagined having a baby with JJ would be different because they would both be mothers but she would take what she could get.

"Thank you. I mean it Em," JJ smiled and Emily could see some of the pain erase as JJ finally realized that no matter what she was staying by her side. JJ finally fell back asleep after the nightmare and though Emily didn't know what it had been exactly about she had a sneaking suspicion that both broke her heart and made her sick to her stomach but for right here in this moment she would allow the night to end on a happy note and for once Emily didn't feel pain from being so close to JJ.


	11. Confused

A/N: Sorry about the lack of updates like I have been updating before. Life kind of happened and its midterm week but here is a new chapter. It's also sort of happy. Thank you for the reviews. They are what make me write more and they also help me know that you understand the complexity of this situation. As someone who has been in an abusive relationship that means a lot! Thank you!

Emily had dozed off after she knew that JJ was out for the rest of the night. Neither women woke up until the doctor walked in and Emily sat up feeling the effects of sleeping hunched over in a chair.

"She wants to know when she can go home," Emily mentioned to the doctor halfway asking the question.

"Did you two figure out an arrangement for her? The only way I will release her is if I know she's going to be safe and stress free and I know she won't be if she's living by herself especially not if this man comes back," the doctor explained.

"She's staying with me, thank you doctor. I will keep her safe, is there anything I should know?" Emily asked wanting to make sure she would have all the knowledge she could to take care of the newly pregnant and somewhat fragile JJ.

"She needs to make sure her blood pressure stays down, so she needs to be as stress free as possible. I know you have a tough job and that causes stress but that's not the stress I'm talking about since she has never had problems with that before," the doctor said referring back to previous check-ups JJ had in the past. "She needs to stay emotionally stress free but she also needs to talk about what happened to her. I can't go into details but she is going to need someone throughout this entire pregnancy. She will probably be in some pain so I'm going to give her something that isn't harmful to the baby to take the edge off, I don't want her driving while she's on these. There were no broken bones, just about 65% of her body is covered in bruises though," the doctor finished explaining and handed Emily the prescription for the pain medication. She knew JJ would need some time off of work to heal and she knew that they both had a lot of cumulated vacation time.

"Thank you doctor. Did you by chance take photos for evidence just so when we find him we actually have evidence? I'm going to try and talk her into getting a protective order against him and pressing charges. So far, all I've gotten out of her is that she is leaving him," Emily mentioned and asked if there were photos for when the team tracked down the detective who had done this to their family member.

"Yes and if she wishes to press charges or needs them for evidence I can release them but to only her. She asked specifically to keep everything pretty confidential except the necessities of her treatment with you. I will go get her paperwork and if you want to wake her up, I will release her," the doctor mentioned before leaving the room.

_What happened to you JJ? Please talk to me._ Emily thought to herself in her head before she kissed JJ's bruised forehead and whispered for her to wake up. Emily made sure to grab on to JJ's hand so that when she woke up she would realize a little faster that she was safe and that Emily hadn't left.

JJ opened her eyes slowly and could feel just about every bone in her body and groaned. She realized that someone was holding her hand and it clicked when she saw Emily standing next to her. She smiled subconsciously.

"Hey, we're getting you out of here. The doctor gave me all the information I need to know to help you out and he's going to go get your release paperwork. Once we get you to my place and all settled I'll have to call Garcia and tell have her and Morgan go get stuff from your place so I need to be able to tell them at least something JJ," Emily dared to broach the subject. JJ groaned and in turn grimaced at the pain it brought to her. Will had bruised her ribs pretty badly when he had done his assault.

"Just tell Garcia to tell Morgan that Will and I had a fight and if he's there to kick him out. Tell her I'll explain everything later. I just, I'm not, I'm ready to talk about it just yet Emily. I'm sorry I know you deserve a better answer than that and I will give you one as soon as I figure out what I'm doing," JJ explained and found the words hard to form. She knew Emily was in pain seeing her like this and knew she deserved a better explanation.

"What do you mean figure out what you're doing? You're going to live with me for at least a little while Jayj, and you are leaving him right?" Emily asked concerned more than JJ would ever know right at that moment.

"Yes, oh Emily, of course I am. I can't even tell you if I was in love with him in the first place. Of course I'm leaving him but I don't know how and I can't live with you forever Em. And I haven't decided if I want to press charges against him. I mean what he did is horrible to me and I'll explain that in time but he's also the father of this child I'm carrying. I'm just feeling really confused right," JJ rambled. Emily couldn't believe the words she just heard, JJ had never been in love with Will. Her heart was racing.

"Jayj, you can live with me for as long as you need or want to. I know the feeling of the confusion Jayj and you'll get through it and I'll be here the entire time. When you are ready to talk I'm right here. Let's get you out of here," Emily reassured JJ as the doctor came back with the paperwork and a nurse with a wheelchair.

"I can walk," JJ started to protest.

"It's procedure Agent Jareau I'm sorry but I'll let Agent Prentiss escort you out of here instead of a nurse if that helps. I've given you a prescription for something to help with the pain," the doctor explained what he had explained already to Emily and JJ maneuvered herself to the wheel chair. Emily felt a surge of hope from JJ's words before and knew that this time spent together wouldn't be quite so painful, at least not emotionally.


	12. Feelings

A/N: I wanted to get this out before I go to work tonight! Enjoy and thank you for the reviews. I'm on Spring Break now so I shouldn't be too hard pressed to get chapters posted but I'm not going to force them out so thank you for your patience.

Emily brought JJ home to her apartment and realized that there was still an empty unused Scotch glass sitting on her kitchen table. She had stared at it the night she had gotten the call, thinking about the entire situation. She had thanked her lucky stars that night when she got the call that had only stared at the glass and had not decided to drown her pain in the bitter booze.

"Can you do stairs JJ?" Emily asked as she had seen JJ wince as she walked up the stairs to the apartment building and it had only been five stairs. She knew that JJ had bruised ribs and was lucky to not have any broken bones. It was a miracle that the assault had not caused a miscarriage.

"I'm fine on the couch Em. I don't think I can do stairs," JJ admitted defeat. It wasn't something she was used to but for once she didn't want to put her body through too much strain with the baby.

"No Jayj. My room is down here. You can stay in it until you start to heal. I'll take the guest bedroom. It's fine. I'll take your stuff in there and get it settled. It has a bathroom too so that'll probably be better for you. Make yourself at home," Emily explained offering up the luxury of her king sized pillow top bed but she knew she wouldn't have any other way. She wanted JJ to be comfortable and in the least amount of pain or discomfort as possible.

"Em, you don't have to give up your bedroom. Seriously, I'll be fine right here on this couch," JJ said as she eased herself down the couch. The previous night's events had worn her out and even though she had slept through the night except for waking up with the nightmare, she was exhausted and her body was hurting pretty badly. She yawned hoping Emily hadn't caught it. She had wanted to talk to Emily for a little bit longer.

"You are my guest. I want you to feel at home and I can sleep in the guest room upstairs. It's not up for argument Jennifer. Let me go get what stuff you have in your go bag all set up and then you need to get your rest," Emily replied back ending the protest.

"Em, you mean I'll be down here and you'll be upstairs?" JJ asked suddenly looking scared with that wild look in her eyes. Emily had never seen JJ look like a deer in the headlights before but it's exactly what she looked like.

"What's the matter Jayj? Sweetie, look at me. Do you want me to stay down here? I can sleep on the couch and I'll be right out here until you feel comfortable," Emily said contemplating why JJ was so scared. Emily would do anything to keep the blonde agent who looked more afraid than she did when she had been attacked by wild dogs, safe. "Ok, I will stay out here and that's not up for discussion either.

"I'm sorry Em. I'm so sorry," JJ cried as she buried her head in her hands. She had never felt so vulnerable and it was scaring her.

"Hey Jennifer, don't apologize. It's ok. I understand. Whatever Will did to you must've been horrible and I'm sorry I didn't fight you harder about it. I'm sorry I wasn't there enough but I'm here now and I'm not going to let him hurt you again," Emily gently wrapped an arm around the thin bruised agent.

"Thank you. Please don't be sorry. I could've left; in fact, I was when he did this. I told him I had feelings for someone else and it wasn't what he wanted to hear," JJ explained. She wasn't quite ready to tell Emily of her feelings but she needed to try and open up a little more with the caring brunette.

"JJ, look you need rest. We don't need to talk about this right now. Why don't you take one of the pills your doctor gave you and while you're sleeping I'll call Garcia and Morgan? I promise I won't tell them much just enough to that they understand?" Emily began to say. She didn't want to hear about JJ having feelings for someone else. Not now when JJ was sitting so fragilely beside her and she was taking care of her.

"Ok. You aren't leaving are you?" JJ asked with a sad look in her eyes. She had mentioned that she had feelings for someone else and the brunette in front of her had gone into defense mode and it hadn't taken a profiler to see that. JJ swallowed hard knowing she should tell Emily about her feelings but not sure of how she would react and not ready herself to experience something so new and scary.

"I'll stay right here. Go ahead and go lie down in my room. I'll show you where it is and get you your pain pill and some water," Emily said helping JJ up and leading her to the bedroom. Emily and JJ were both hypersensitive to the feeling of the others touch. Emily let JJ get settled and went to grab the bottle of pain pills and a bottle of water for JJ and when she returned JJ was already falling asleep in the bed.

"Jayj, wake up for a just a second. You need to take these. It'll help you sleep," Emily said helping JJ sit up and take the pills. JJ fell right back to sleep after she had taken the pain killer and Emily watched over her for a few minutes. The bruises were of varying colors still some older and some from the newest assault. She didn't know how she had been so blind to JJ's movements how they had been strained as if the blonde had been sore. Emily left the room quietly and before she closed the door she could've sworn she had heard Emily being mumbled from JJ's lips as she slept. Emily shook it off. _She has feelings for someone else. She is straight. You are just friends._ Emily chastised herself in her head as she went to call Garcia. Emily sighed as she thought about how long the next few weeks would really be if what JJ had said was true, she had left Will because she had feelings for someone else. She wondered if it was someone on the team but she was also afraid for whoever it was because of what Will had done. Emily lost herself in her thoughts and was shocked when the phone rang and it was Garcia calling to check up on their mutual friend. Emily knew it was time to do the task of evading details and getting JJ's belongings to her with the help of Garcia and Morgan without Morgan freaking out. Morgan had always been critical of JJ but everyone knew that he had a soft protective side when it came to the women on the team. He had grown up the only boy raised by his mom and knew how to treat women, romantically and family alike. Emily knew that once he saw what Will had done, the New Orleans detective was living on borrowed time.


	13. Stay

A/N: Thank you for being patient. I know I'm not updating with my normal update rate but I've had a little bit of writer's block. I will try to get something up for my other story as well but that one is the one I'm having the worst writer's block with. Enjoy this! I won't drag on them not knowing their feelings for each other much longer but be warned once they know something dramatic will happen!

Emily picked up her phone and answered it to hear the inquisitive technical analyst on the other end.

"How's my girl?" Garcia asked referring to JJ.

"She's sleeping. Hey I need a favor from you and Morgan. JJ is going to be staying here for quite awhile but with the chance of Will still being at her apartment I don't want her going back there and she won't let me leave her sight right now. Do you think you could have Morgan make sure he isn't there, if he is arrest his ass, but I need you to get her some of her clothes, you know what she would want," Emily began to explain the favor she needed to ask.

"You know I'm going to have to explain what Will did to JJ to Morgan? When she called I had to leave Morgan to go pick her up and he's been asking questions ever since," Garcia explained. Morgan knew that the call sounded frantic on the other end and had caused Garcia to leave pretty suddenly.

"Tell him but do not tell him about the pregnancy. Please Garcia, this is something she needs to tell everyone herself," Emily said in an almost pleading voice.

"I won't. I'll let her tell everyone in their own time. Does she know I know?" Garcia asked wanting to know how she should go about the subject.

"I think she suspects it. I'm not sure if she could hear anything when she fainted. Right now she's sleeping and I promised her I wasn't leaving. If you could just grab her some comfortable clothes, tshirts, jeans, whatever she sleeps in. I need to call Hotch and take a little bit of vacation time and explain the situation a little to him while she sleeps," Emily explained. She knew that the unit chief would already have some idea that something was wrong, the hospital was required to call superiors when it came to federal agents being in the hospital but Aaron Hotchner knew that Emily would be right by JJ's side and that JJ would tell him when she was comfortable calling him or when Emily called him. Hotch could see the love that Emily held for JJ and saw the pain JJ went through in her relationship with Will. Will was a lot like Haley in the way that he didn't understand the time away when the team was needed to go off to another state halfway across the country for a case. Hotch just didn't realize how much worse Will was then his ex-wife.

"The hospital called him but I made sure to tell the nurses to tell him not to come. I'll call Morgan right away and we'll get her stuff, don't worry angel, we'll get you everything you need to take care of our princess," Garcia said before hanging up the phone. She wondered if Garcia could give her a new heart right about now as the feeling sank in after JJ had said that she had feelings for someone else. It was like she couldn't catch a break. She quickly dialed the unit chief's personal phone number knowing that the team had today off unless a case was brought to their attention.

"Hotchner," Hotch answered his phone before looking at the caller id.

"It's Prentiss. I need to request some personal time to be taken off for me and JJ," Emily began knowing she was going to owe him an explanation.

"What's going on Prentiss? What's wrong with JJ?" Hotch asked knowing that a member of his pseudo-family must be in trouble because neither women had ever taken a vacation day from work and had taken a maximum of two sick days in the last 5 years. This wasn't their usual behavior.

"She's resting right now but the doctor wants her to rest her body for about a week. I can't tell you everything sir, that's up to her but I will tell you she's been beaten pretty badly by Will. We need to find him. She's still not sure if she wants to press charges but I'm sure she'll come around to it but she's staying with me for awhile and I'd like to take some time off to be here for her," Emily explained.

"He beat her? Do the others know? I'll arrange that her apartment be watched to make sure he doesn't show up there if she wants to go home. Why isn't she sure if she wants to press charges?" Hotch asked with anger in his voice. He thought of each and every one of his team members his family, most of them kids, and Rossi another parental figure.

"Garcia is the one who brought her in sir. I can't tell you why she isn't sure about pressing charges, that is for her to discuss with everyone when she comes back. I think she'll need more than a week but that's also her decision. She's going to be staying with me for awhile, she doesn't want to go home. Garcia and Morgan are heading over there now to get her stuff that she needs. Please Hotch?" Emily said all but begging her superior.

"That's fine Emily. Have JJ call me when she is ready and wish her the best. You are the best person to take care of her. You love her and I hope things work out for you two. Maybe tell her how you feel, don't let her go Emily, don't push her away. That didn't go so well last time," Hotch mentioned completely surprising Emily.

"You know?" Emily asked nearly completely speechless.

"I'm pretty sure everyone but JJ knows. It's ok, if you two work it out, Rossi and I will smooth things over with Strauss. Just take care of her though and give her time to come around," Hotch reassured Emily knowing that was one of her fears.

"Thank you Hotch, she'll call you when she's ready I'm sure. And I promise I'll talk to her and take care of her," Emily mentioned before promising to keep him updated about the Will situation. She hung up the phone in time to hear JJ's bloodcurdling screams.

Emily ran to her bedroom to find JJ thrashing around in the bed. She quickly and very carefully woke up JJ and wrapped her in her arms. She smoothed the hair away from JJ's sweaty forehead and gave her the bottle of water that was on the nightstand so that she could take a drink to soothe the hoarseness.

"Em, he had you and he was," JJ began to start telling her about the nightmare and collapsed into Emily in tears.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm here and I'm safe. We'll find him and make sure he stays away from you. He's not going to go after me sweetie. Calm down. Jennifer, look at me," Emily said placing a hand underneath JJ's chin and lifting her head. At first she could've sworn that JJ was looking at her lips but she placed that thought quickly out of her head.

"I decided before I passed out, I want to press charges. I don't want him to have anything to do with this baby. I don't care if I have to quit my job," JJ said through tears. Emily widened her eyes. She was glad that JJ was going to press charges but not if it meant her quitting. Emily knew that one way or another she needed JJ in her life.

"Jayj, you won't have to quit. I will help you as much as I can and when we go on cases," Emily began not sure how to finish that sentence or even knowing if JJ would want the help. She saw a slight smile on JJ's face after she had said that she would help.

"You'll help really? I'll figure it out. I don't want to quit but he will not raise this child. I will make sure of it," JJ said with conviction. This made Emily smile. She saw the weariness in JJ's eyes and knew that JJ had only been asleep for a half hour.

"Yes I'll help you through it all, this pregnancy, I can even help you find a nanny if you want, and it won't be the same as when I grew up JJ because I know you'll be a great mother and around as much as you can be. I'm here for you. I called Garcia and she and Morgan are headed to your place. She knows not to tell him too many details and Hotch granted us both off as much time as we need. I told him very little and he understands that you'll call him when you are ready to talk. Now you need to get some more rest, you're exhausted and you've hardly slept," Emily said releasing JJ from the hold she had been in.

"Thank you Emily. I don't know what I'd do without you," JJ said tears filling her blue eyes. Emily kissed her on the forehead lingering just a little longer this time. She felt the wetness of JJ's tears and wiped them away after pulling away.

"I'll be right in the other room if you need me," Emily said as she went to get up. She saw the look of fear in JJ's eyes and knew that request was coming up next.

"Em, stay? Please just for awhile?" JJ asked. Emily had never seen the strong media liaison look so scared and she knew that she wasn't getting the whole story on what had happened. It would've taken a threat to JJ's life or a threat to a member of the teams life to make her this scared and she wondered what had gone down that night that JJ's strength had been taken from her.

"I'll stay. Now go to sleep," Emily said giving JJ a kiss on the forehead once more and allowing JJ to stay in her arms for just this time. She knew she would feel the pain of all of this later but she allowed herself this pleasure that she knew would make the pain all worth it.


	14. Fear

Emily dozed off with JJ in her arms and only woke to the sound of her phone ringing. She was grateful that the phone was located in the pocket she could reach so she wouldn't have to move JJ and wake her up. She saw that it was Morgan calling and realized she was going to have to move JJ anyway to have the conversation with Morgan. She hoped JJ wouldn't wake up and realize she was gone. She quietly slipped out of the room without JJ waking up and noticed how JJ immediately curled up into a ball. She silently wondered what had this strong agent so scared. Outside of the room she answered her phone quietly.

"Morgan what's up?" Emily answered.

"Hey Emily, we got her stuff and there was no sign of Will there at the time, it looks like his stuff is still there so he's still in the area. How's our girl?" Morgan asked explaining what they had found at JJ's apartment.

"She's sleeping. She's scared and I have no clue what he did to her Morgan. I have never seen that look in her eyes. It's worse than the look she got with the Hankel case and that look still haunts me," Emily expressed her worries about the state of JJ's well being.

"You'll pull her through this Princess, she needs you right now. We'll drop her stuff off, we're on our way now. Then we'll let you guys work things out. Garcia is going to try to trace Will and see what his activities have been and set up a surveillance around JJ's apartment just in case he shows up or she needs to grab something from the apartment but I don't recommend her going alone. She's strong Em, I know I criticize her a lot but she gives it right back and she'll get through this," Morgan reassured his friend that he considered a sister and ended the call.

Emily quickly went back to the room to check on JJ and saw she was beginning to stir. She heard her mumbling something and knew that JJ needed to know that she was right there beside her.

"Emily? Emily where are you?" JJ said before fully opening her eyes feeling around her knowing that the brunette was not next to her. Emily grabbed her hand and knelt down beside the bed.

"I'm right here sweetie. Morgan called and I didn't want to wake you up. They are on their way here with your stuff. Did you want to see them or did you want to stay in here?" Emily asked quietly.

"I should see Garcia, she got me to the hospital. It's ok. When they leave I want to talk to you Em, I can't getting scared and not telling you why. It's not fair to you," JJ said as she sat up and winced at the pain. No bones had been broken but the way JJ's ribs felt she felt like they were broken, but they are only bruised and being pregnant wasn't helping that with the morning sickness. JJ felt a wave of nausea and ran to the bathroom as fast as she could to empty the few contents of her stomach and Emily ran to be by her side and hold her hair out of her face. JJ whispered a thank you and Emily pulled her up to her feet.

"Hey, it's ok, I'm here through it all, morning sickness and hormones, everything," Emily said pulling JJ into a hug. "And I will listen to everything you have to say when they leave, I promise I'm here for you until the end Jennifer," Emily reassured JJ and kissed her temple before the door bell rang signifying that Morgan and Garcia were at the door.

"Garcia knows that my ribs are bruised right? Because I have a feeling I'm going to get ambushed with a hug," JJ asked laughing. It was the first smile even though it was a slight smile that Emily had seen out of JJ in the last few weeks and it gave her hope.

"Yes, she knows pretty much everything, but she won't tell anyone else," Emily admitted to telling Garcia about the pregnancy.

"Well she is all-knowing so I guess that was a given. It's fine Em, thank you for taking care of everything. I really appreciate it," Emily was relieved to find out that JJ wasn't angry with her for telling Garcia and for calling Hotch about the time off.

Emily let Morgan and Garcia in and Garcia went directly to JJ giving her the tightest hug she could without hurting her. Morgan looked in shock at the amount of bruises JJ had, she was wearing a pair of sleep shorts and a t-shirt so there was a lot of skin visible and most of it was covered in varying bruises.

"Emily when we find this guy somebody's going to have to restrain me from killing him!" Morgan fumed as he saw the pain JJ was in emotionally and physically. He was always protective of the women he cared about and this was his family. Sure, Morgan was a dog when it came to the dating life and he lived it up with various women and dates, but when it came to the women he loved he was nothing but respect and when it came to a woman being hit, it sickened him. The two went to the other room of Emily's apartment to talk so that JJ wouldn't overhear and she could spend time talking to Garcia.

"You'll have to stand in line behind me. I love her Morgan and I can't stand seeing her in this pain. She said she told him that she was in love with someone else. I don't know how much more my heart can handle with her," Emily began to admit defeat before Morgan pulled her out of it.

"Hey now, maybe it's you she's in love with. Don't give up just yet Princess. We all see the way she flits around you at work and the flirting. Give her time, she'll open up to you. I want to let her know what we did and what we found and then we'll leave you two to figure things out. Hotch give you guys some time off?" Morgan pulled her out of her defeat.

"As much as we need. I'm sure she'll be restless in about a week but we've both got sick days and enough vacation days for the whole team. Her vacation is a little different though then ours but we've got plenty of time," Emily confirmed.

The two agents went into the other room to let JJ know what they had found and she listened to everything they had found and thanked them. She knew she wanted Will out of her apartment whether or not she was going back there in the near future. She was beginning to like the concept of living with Emily, even if it was temporary. Morgan and Garcia left and JJ knew it was time to tell Emily what happened and she realized her hands were sweating and she was shaking.

"JJ, calm down it's ok. Let me go make you something to eat and then we can talk, I promise," Emily told the nervous JJ and went off to make her something to eat. Emily needed to pull herself together after talking to Morgan before she could listen to what had happened to JJ without rushing out of the apartment and hunting down Will herself. She knew the team was handling it but it somehow wasn't enough when she saw the bruises.


	15. Hurt

A/N: Ok so here it is, everything that happened to JJ. It is intense and if I strike an emotional nerve I am sorry. This chapter is rated higher due to the violence and horrible things that are in it. Don't worry JJ will tell Emily eventually but it won't be in a very good setting. There's another little teaser for you. Enjoy and thank you for the reviews.

Emily brought JJ a bowl of soup and water and watched her scarf it down as if she hadn't eaten in days and that's when Emily noticed that JJ was looking thin for someone who was supposed to be 8 weeks pregnant.

"JJ have you been eating lately?" Emily asked concerned.

"Not as much as normal. When I get stressed I tend to not eat quite so much and I guess I'm one of those lucky ones that lose weight really easily," JJ admitted. It was one aspect that many women envied about JJ and it would help her after the pregnancy she knew that.

"Well we have got to take care of that baby in there and get some weight on your bones, eat up. You are now under the care of Chef Prentiss," Emily said in a fake French accent causing JJ to giggle a bit and it was music to her ears. Cooking was one thing that Emily enjoyed but often didn't have time to do but now that she had someone to cook for she knew it would be all the more better. Emily watched as JJ devoured the soup and sat back ready to tell her story to Emily.

"Are you sure about this Jayj? It can wait if you want it to," Emily asked not sure herself if she wanted to know what had happened.

"I can't live in my head anymore Emily, I just can't," JJ said looking paler than normal.

"Ok but you start to feel faint or anything you are going to have to stop. I don't want your blood pressure getting too high and you fainting on me again," Emily warned her.

"Ok, I will I promise," JJ said.

"So when did he start being violent Jayj?" Emily asked curiously.

"About a month or two ago, he applied to the Quantico Police Department for the position of detective and they shot him down. He started drinking which led him to get angrier with the fact that I was working and he wasn't. In his eyes that wasn't right and when I'd come home from a case late he'd ask me where I had been even though he knew I had been on a case. Looking back I think the only reason he moved up here was to keep his reigns tight because he thought I was going behind my back with someone," JJ began to explain.

"JJ why didn't you say anything before then?" Emily asked in shock. In the back of her mind she wondered who the person he thought she was going behind his back with and wondered if that person was the same person that JJ had feelings for.

"I was ashamed, I wanted to make it work since he had moved everything up here for me. At first it just started out as fights, he'd end up sleeping on the couch, then about a week or two later it escalated and that's when he hit me in the face. When I went home he saw the bruise and decided I wouldn't keep my mouth shut if he kept hitting me where people could see the damage and he started hitting me other places when I'd come home from cases or from sleeping here or at Garcia's. I tried not to stay here too often because that tended to make it worse. Then there was the night after our fight and God Emily I've never seen him so angry. I was already upset about telling you to stay out of my business and I thought I had hurt you because I saw the look in your eyes when you walked away and it made me realize that enough was enough. I was done living a lie. I didn't love him and it wasn't fair to any of us so I decided to leave him. Well as you know that ended me up in the hospital. He, Emily, he raped me," JJ admitted as tears ran down her face. JJ felt like a weight was off of her shoulders as she told Emily who looked on in shock. Emily wrapped JJ in her arms and felt her anger rise.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that JJ. I'm so sorry. You are safe now and we will find him," Emily reassured JJ the best she could.

"And now I'm carrying his child, but I don't want him to have anything to do with this little boy or girl. After he was done he wouldn't stop kicking me and that's where most of the new bruises are from. I'm so glad he didn't hurt the baby. That is one of two good things that will ever come out of this situation Emily and I can't blame the baby for who his or her father is," JJ finished telling Emily what had happened the night that landed her in the hospital up until the point that she had called Garcia after Will had stormed out.

"What's the second good part?" Emily asked curious knowing it would lead her to the answer of who JJ had feelings for.

"I realized that I could no longer deny the feelings I have for someone and eventually when I'm somewhat healed and this person will help me, I will tell them," JJ said quietly not letting on to who the person was. Emily heart sank for JJ knowing the pain she had been through. She knew she would be the one to help JJ through the pain but wanted JJ to tell her when the time was right. At that point in time she was certain things were going to be ok and that JJ would heal.


	16. Shock

A/N: Cliffhanger chapter is here! I might have the next one up by the end of the night. Soon Will will be out of the picture. Thank you for all the reviews and support throughout all of this. When I first started writing fanfiction I never imagined the response I would get let alone the people I would come in contact with and I am forever grateful for all of it. Thank you!

A few days later, Emily could tell JJ was already starting the healing process. The nightmares were getting few and far between. That first night after JJ had told her what had happened, JJ had asked Emily to stay in the same room with her and at first for Emily it was hard to stand being so close to JJ while sleeping but each night it got easier. The last night they had only woken up once in the middle of the night due to one of the nightmares that were plaguing JJ and Emily had no idea what they were about most of the time. Emily knew that some of the dreams were of Will harming Emily and Emily wasn't sure why JJ was having those nightmares when she had been the one attacked. It had been almost a week since JJ had been staying at Emily's and they were both starting to get more comfortable living with each other. The two were now sitting down for lunch and JJ's bruises were slowly beginning to fade but she would still need a little more time off of work until she was physically and emotionally ready and Hotch was willing to give the two time off because workloads were slow for the team other than hunting down Will LaMontagne who had left no paper trail whatsoever and hadn't been back to the apartment yet.

"Hey Em, I know they haven't caught Will yet, but I'd like to go back home to grab some things. I don't even have like half my wardrobe here and if I'm staying here until he's caught or until the pregnancy's over, however long you'll have me or however long it takes, I need more clothes," JJ brought up the subject.

"I understand. I don't want you to go alone if that's ok. I mean I can just sit in your living room while you get what you need and just in case Will is watching the apartment Morgan and the team should be close by. I know Garcia has surveillance on the apartment but who knows what Will has done. He may be watching it to see if you are coming home," Emily thought about the situation and came up with a safe solution.

"Ok, I'll go call the team and Garcia. Thank you Emily, again, for everything," JJ said before leaving the table to call the team. Emily had been making her every meal since she had been staying there and ever since JJ had discovered the horrible morning sickness that pregnancy was already bringing her Emily kept the meals light until the nausea passed.

"Anything for you Jennifer," Emily said quietly after JJ had left the table. She knew that JJ had feelings for someone else and that there was still a slight possibility it was her. In the course of the few days there had been more lingering touches and Emily never failed to kiss JJ on the forehead after one of her horrible nightmares.

Fifteen minutes later Emily went to find JJ who had wondered off to Emily's room to make the phone call. Considering it had been fifteen minutes, Emily had figured that the phone call would've been over with by now and couldn't help but to overhear JJ talking to Garcia still on the phone.

"No, Garcia I haven't told her yet. I will I promise, sometime. I just don't know how she's going to take it and I need this right now," JJ said to Garcia in a hushed voice. Emily's heart sank. JJ was going to tell her who she was in love with and judging by the sound of it, it wasn't her. Emily walked away to sit in the living room to give JJ her privacy. A few minutes later it was JJ looking for Emily and she sat down beside her on the couch.

"Hey, everything ok?" JJ asked looking at a stressed out looking Emily.

"Yeah it's fine. I'm just a little nervous about going to the apartment. I have a gut feeling it's just not going to go well," Emily said expressing her concern.

"The team will be there just down the street keeping an eye on it. If it makes you feel safer, take your sidearm," JJ said hoping that Emily's feeling was wrong. She wasn't ready to face Will let alone ready for Emily to have to use her weapon. "They said they will be there in 15 minutes so we better get going. I promise let's just get through this and then we can do whatever you want, watch a movie, whatever," JJ said reassuring Emily which felt wrong since Emily usually reassured her. She was beginning to get her strength back but it was taking some time especially since Will had broken her down so badly.

"Ok, but let me go into the apartment first, make sure it's safe?" Emily asked knowing that she couldn't risk JJ going into the apartment first just in case Garcia had missed Will being there.

"Deal. Thank you Emily," JJ thanked her friend once again and the two set off for her apartment.

Emily's gut feeling got worse the closer they approached the apartment and she secretly wished she had had time to suit up like the team but she would have to check the apartment with just her weapon and her wits. When they got there she told JJ she would motion down from the window when it was safe to come in and grabbed her key. JJ squeezed her hand nervously and immediately missed the warmth as she sat in the passenger side of Emily's car. A few long minutes later Emily motioned for her to come up and JJ breathed a sigh of relief knowing that Emily and the apartment were safe.

JJ entered her apartment and a flood of emotions hit her. Outside a car pulled up that Garcia didn't recognize and figured it was just yet another tenant but just in case switched to the surveillance inside of JJ's apartment to find Emily comforting JJ. Garcia knew that JJ would feel emotional when going back to the scene where Will had to brutally beat her so she didn't think twice about it. A man got out of the car that Garcia didn't recognize so she called Morgan to let them know to be on standby.

Inside the apartment JJ went about getting her things as Emily sat in the living room on her couch anxiously. It had been ages since she had last been in JJ's apartment, in fact it had been before Will had ever been in the picture. JJ went to grab something in the closet by the front door when Emily heard a bloodcurdling scream and rushed to where the closet was to find Will holding JJ at gun point.

"She's who you had feelings for isn't it?" Will said angrily

Garcia was in shock as she looked to the screen that had the inside of JJ's apartment on surveillance. She saw that Will had the pregnant media liaison. She radioed to the team that Will was in the apartment and they went to move in. As the team, including Morgan, went to rush the apartment, Garcia shrieked as a gunshot was fired and she saw one of the two women inside the apartment fall to the ground.


	17. Breakeven The Script

A/N: Ok you guys know me too well that I can never leave a cliffhanger without writing more so I am going to post this now that I am done writing it. The song is Breakeven by The Script. And you all know I couldn't kill JJ or Emily. Special thanks to diaza44 for kicking my butt into writing this finally, only because I couldn't keep her in suspense! And special thanks to all the people who review regularly and welcome to my new readers!

A/N2: If you or anyone you know has or have been in an abusive relationship please know that you are not alone and can get help! Talk to someone you trust or call the hotline 1-800-799-SAFE. People do care and you do not deserve it!

Inside the apartment Emily stood in shock at what Will had said as she reached for the gun on her hip.

"Hmm, JJ, is that who you had feelings for? You leave me for a woman? I see how you look at her," Will said angrily. JJ was shaking with fear for more reasons than one. She couldn't move, his grip on her tight and the gun at her side. "Tell me or I shoot you, and then her and your little Emily will have to watch you die first before I kill her," Will threatened.

"Will, the team will be here any minute you aren't going to get away with it," by now Emily had found her courage and her voice as her gun was pointed straight at Will but she didn't have the shot because he was so close to JJ and her hand was shaking.

"Oh I'm going to get away with something. So JJ what's your answer? Do you love Emily?" Will asked. JJ prayed that this wouldn't be the time she would have to tell Emily just how much she loved her. "Not going to answer me? Well let's see what happens when I do this?" Will said sounding sinister as he pointed the gun at Emily and fired. JJ screamed and rushed towards Emily getting away from the grips of Will.

"Yes, I love her ok? And I'm pregnant Will and you will never be able to see your child," JJ screamed.

Emily hit the ground as she felt the bullet hit her in the shoulder.

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing__  
__Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in__  
__'Cause I got time while she got freedom__  
__'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven_

Everything slowed as Emily hit the floor. She heard JJ scream at Will and the sound of another bullet and heard the voice of Morgan. She prayed she wasn't dying, not before JJ knew how she felt about her.

_They say bad things happen for a reason__  
__But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding__  
__'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving__  
__And when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven, even, no_

Emily heard JJ say that she loved her and prayed that she would make it through this pain but was failing miserably as she felt her world go black and she lost touch with all her feelings. She felt JJ's hand being ripped from hers and she gave in to fighting. For all she knew JJ had been taken out by Will as well but she prayed that Morgan had been the one to take out the detective that had gone so badly wrong.

_What am I gonna do__  
__When the best part of me was always you__  
__And what am I supposed to say__  
__When I'm all choked up and you're okay_

Emily went unconscious as JJ was hysterical by her side whispering to her that she loved her, was in love with her, and had always been in love with her. Morgan quickly grabbed JJ trying to calm her down as Hotch ran to Emily and Reid called for paramedics. The bullet had hit Emily in the left shoulder missing the heart by inches but in all ways breaking her heart into a million pieces as she felt her life slip away from her after JJ had admitted that she loved her.

JJ's world came crashing down and everything went into slow motion. Somewhere in the background she could hear sirens and even felt someone trying to calm her down. She knew for her baby's sake she needed to not be completely hysterical. She saw the paramedics load Emily onto a stretcher and barely remembered getting in behind her and letting the paramedics work on them both.

Emily and JJ were rushed to the hospital where Emily was taken directly to the operating room.

_I'm falling to pieces__  
__(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)__  
__I'm falling to pieces__  
__('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't breakeven)_

As the doctors got ready to operate on the gunshot wound Emily saw the events of her life flash by in her mind starting with the day she met JJ.

_"Sir, sorry to interrupt but we're ready," JJ told Hotch._

Emily struggled to fight for her life because she didn't want to leave JJ, knowing she was still alive as she had been able to hear her talking to her in the ambulance. Her mind was working but Emily couldn't open her eyes to save her life. Part of Emily thought that her subconscious was playing with her and wanted her to believe that JJ was just a figment of her mind. Her heart broke as she felt herself slipping away thinking that she was going to be away from JJ forever.

The doctors fought to keep Emily breathing while she was on the operating table and one of the doctors had an idea. He left the OR to talk to the team members real quickly.

"Doctor, is Emily ok? Oh my god, wait she just went in, she can't be ok if you are out here already?" Garcia said freaking out. Another doctor had taken JJ into an examining room to check her blood pressure and keep her as calm as they worked on Emily.

"We are having some problems keeping Emily stable while we retrieve the bullet that Mr. LaMontagne gifted her with. We believe though that if she has something to fight for she'll fight harder. Any ideas for that? And please hurry we only have so much time," the doctor urged.

"JJ, she'll fight for JJ. Just tell her that JJ is alive and well and that she loves her. Please don't let her let go doctor," Morgan said knowing it was the truth. The team was relieved to finally see that the two were beginning to address their feelings for each other. The doctor thanked the team and returned to the operating room.

It seemed like forever later when only an hour had passed and another doctor appeared.

"We were able to stabilize her and retrieve the bullet. She is going to be in recovery for the next hour and then pretty out of it for the night. The bullet damaged her shoulder but nothing a little physical therapy won't make better. She most likely lost consciousness from the pain and she lost a lot of blood. Shoulder wounds tend to bleed a lot and be pretty painful. She's a fighter though. Once Dr. Schmidt mentioned JJ she perked up right away and started fighting. I recommend you all get some rest. The only one staying here tonight will be JJ and that's only because there's no way she'll leave and her blood pressure spiked a bit earlier so we are putting her on observation for that," the doctor explained and the team agreed. They would be no good staying at the hospital only making JJ more nervous and they wondered why the doctor was concerned with her blood pressure.

"Can we speak with Agent Jareau before we leave?" Hotch asked concerned for his media liaison.

"I'll send her out," the doctor said before walking away.

JJ walked out and looked awful. She hadn't stopped crying since it had happened and was exhausted from the shock of everything that had happened. She was no longer scared for her own life knowing that Will was now dead. Morgan had shot him after Will had turned the gun on JJ.

"Hey angel, how are you holding up?" Garcia asked softly hugging JJ.

"I'm ok. I need to calm down for the sake of, well I just need to calm down," JJ said as if she were numb stopping herself before saying anything about her baby.

"JJ, what's going on? Why are they so concerned about your blood pressure?" Morgan asked looking critically at JJ. He felt protective of her knowing she was important to Emily but wanted to know why the doctors were so concerned with her as well.

"I didn't want to tell you guys like this but uh, I'm pregnant," JJ said looking directly into the team as she said this. "I found out the night that I ended up in the hospital. The night that Will beat me and raped me I found out I was pregnant with his child. But it's ok because Emily swore she was going to help me raise this child no matter what, I just hope now that she knows how I feel that she still feels that way. I can't say I feel horrible because Will's dead because now I know that my child is safe. Thank you Morgan," JJ explained more in detail. Garcia and Reid gasped as Morgan approached JJ.

"She won't change her mind I promise you that JJ, she's madly in love with you. She's been in love with you since the day she started the BAU. I'm so sorry for what he did to you but I'm not sorry I shot him. I couldn't bear losing you and Emily both especially knowing now that there's a little one in there. Mama you gotta take care of yourself," Morgan said becoming paternally protective of the mini JJ growing inside of her. He hugged JJ which took her by surprise. The team gave their hugs and expressed their concerns before leaving JJ to be by Emily's side. JJ knew it could be a long night ahead of her.


	18. Truth

A/N: Sorry I've been MIA lately!! Life has thrown me for a complete curve and I've had a lot going on. With that note chapters may be coming out pretty slowly but I will continue this story and I'll try to wrap up my other one which will end up probably having a part two. Thanks for the patience and for the awesome reviews on the previous two chapters!

Dedication for chapter: This chapter goes out to someone very near and dear to me that I couldn't imagine life without said person. This is for you!

Emily was moved to from recovery to a room and JJ was the first one in the room. Emily was still asleep from the pain killers and the anesthesia the doctors had pumped into her for her to be able to survive the surgery. Even though she was completely out, Emily's mind was not. As she lay completely immobile and unable to open her eyes she thought about everything the doctors had said in the operating room about JJ loving her and JJ being alive. _So this is what hell feels like. _Emily thought into the darkness. She could feel JJ's hand on hers and wanted so badly to wake up to touch her, hear her say the words while she was conscious and to be able to say them back. JJ sat beside Emily only moving to run a hand through the sweat ridden brown hair to get it out of Emily's face and to squeeze her hand. JJ talked to Emily trying to get her to wake up, knowing the doctors had said that the woman had almost given up.

"Don't you ever do that to me Emily. Don't give up on this life. Please wake up. I love you Emily. Wake up and I'm yours," JJ pleaded. In her head she was bargaining with God promising this and that if Emily would just wake up. JJ had never been strong in any form of religion but faith was something she refused to lose. In a job where she constantly looked at the worst part of society, she knew that if she lost faith, all hope for her job would be lost. She had to know that it was possible to overcome evil. JJ continued to beg Emily to wake up when she finally saw her eyes flutter and JJ's heart skipped a few beats.

Emily's eyes fluttered open, blinking several times before she finally realized the sight in front of her. JJ saw the look in Emily's eyes and she saw no fear, only relief that JJ was alive, and utter and complete love for the woman in front of her. The doctors had inserted a tube down her throat during the surgery which had caused Emily's throat to be extremely sore and leaving her with almost no voice.

"Jen," Emily rasped out.

"Shh, don't talk it's ok. You gave us all quite a scare. You scared me. Please don't ever give up Emily. I couldn't stand it if you gave up on life. I'm going to get a doctor real quick to explain what happened," JJ said as she began to stand up. Emily grabbed her hand and held on tight giving JJ a look that screamed "Stay, don't go," and JJ sat back down.

"Ok I'll just use the nurse call button then. Emily it's ok. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. We'll talk as soon as you feel a little better," JJ reassured Emily not fearing the way she was caressing her hand with her thumb as she held onto it for dear life.

The doctor came in and explained everything that had happened including the extent of Emily's injury to her shoulder. She would need at least six weeks off of work and additional time not in the field doing physical therapy. The doctor also informed her that due to the extent of the injury and because of their jobs, both women were being recommended for a psychological evaluation before returning to work. Six weeks was a long time to be off of work and JJ knew Emily would go crazy not working for that amount of time.

A few hours later Emily was getting restless in the hospital bed and after several glasses of water she finally felt ready to talk.

"Are you sure you want to talk about this now?" JJ asked her concerned for Emily's well-being.

"Yes, I need to. I need to make sense of it all. I could hear you, I could hear everything in the ambulance, in the operating room and I thought I was in hell," Emily said looking away almost ashamed.

"Why did you feel like you were in hell Em?" JJ asked concerned.

"I thought I was hallucinating. I heard the last gunshot, the one that killed him, and I thought he had shot you too and the thought of living without you, well I couldn't do it. And then I started having flashbacks all the way back to the first time I saw you, in Hotch's office, the first day, and I couldn't take it. I didn't want to live if you weren't alive but then the doctors came in and started telling me that you were alive, that you loved me, and I believed them and I just fought to stay alive. Jayj, is it true? Will's dead and you love me?" Emily explained fighting back the tears as she struggled to sit up further wincing at the pain in her shoulder.

"Relax Em, you just had major surgery and got shot in the shoulder. Yes, Morgan was close by and right after he shot you I told him I was pregnant and I was at your side. He was in shock Em and Morgan barged into him pointing the gun down at me and he shot him, square in the chest. Yes, Emily I love you. It started out as just liking you, friends, and somewhere and somehow, I started loving you, faster than I ever thought was imaginable. I guess I realized I loved you about the second night I stayed with you, and it's part of the reason I stayed at Garcia's more when I needed to. I was afraid of the feeling but Emily I love you. I know it seems so soon to say it but I do and I want to be with you. That is if you'll have me. I hope I'm not assuming anything about your feelings towards me," JJ confessed her love to Emily.

"JJ you have no idea how long I've wanted you to say those words to me. Yes, I love you too. I've loved you since the third week I knew you but I didn't want to lose you and I figured you were straight and I never told you that I wasn't. I figured I would rather be friends with you then tell you how I felt and lose you completely. Jennifer, I'd take a bullet for you any day. I want to be with you and I want to help you raise that baby," Emily told JJ of her feelings finally coming clean out loud about them as a tear slipped down her cheek. JJ kissed Emily on the cheek and crawled into the hospital bed on the side of Emily that wasn't injured. Right now, JJ just needed to be next to Emily and they could finish talking later.


	19. Time

A/N: I'm still alive no worries. Thank you for all the patience. My life has been hectic and I have somewhat of a bout of writer's block but I wanted to get this out for diaza44. Hope you feel better really soon!! This one's for you! Thank you for all the new readers, reviews, everything! I will try to fight the writer's block as much as I can!

Emily stayed in the hospital for a week and during the week JJ never left her side. Every night around the same time though, Emily would wake up in a cold sweat and breathless and while she thought she had kept it from JJ, JJ had noticed that the last few nights she had woken up and Emily had been curled in a ball as much as her injured shoulder would let her.

The doctor was finally releasing Emily with the promise from JJ that Emily would heal faster at home and that she wouldn't let the stubborn brunette use the shoulder until it was ready for physical therapy. The two had never finished discussing their mutual fondness of each other which left JJ confused and concerned about where they stood and if they even were anything. JJ longed to be able to call Emily her girlfriend but knew she couldn't until they discussed whatever was bugging Emily and discussed the parameters of their relationship. _Relationship?_ JJ thought to herself in her head. They had worked out that JJ would stay with Emily throughout the pregnancy not only because Emily was able to calm her and make sure she didn't over do herself but also because Emily would need help with everything from getting dressed to lifting things down from the cupboards that required two hands until her shoulder was healed.

A gunshot wound to the shoulder was not an easy heal, but Emily was making fast progress and she contributed it to having the blonde agent around. Emily had been too scared to bring up the subject of their relationship in the last week, only discussing other subjects, such as different cases the two had done an exceptional job on. Emily feared that JJ would regret everything that she had said and couldn't take the pain of hearing it from the blonde herself so she didn't broach the subject. The nightmares were bad enough to wake her up in a cold sweat and breathless but never bad enough that the presence of the blonde next to her in the hospital bed didn't calm down. JJ calmed Emily down while at the same time igniting a fire inside of her. With this fire though, came fear. Emily was afraid to hear the regret, and she feared that the threat of a new experience would send JJ running straight back into the arms of some random man again. This fear came with another fear, the fear of pushing JJ towards another man, pushing her away, and the fears were constantly on her mind as she felt weak and not in control of the situation as she lay in that hospital bed. She had tried to hide the nightmares from JJ knowing she would be concerned.

Emily's thoughts were interrupted by the smell of coffee and the voice she would never grow tired of as JJ entered the room with two coffees and the paperwork for Emily's discharge.

"So I may have promised my left arm if I don't make sure you don't use that shoulder so please, I love you, but don't use your damn shoulder!" JJ said laughing slipping out those three words into her banter.

"I love you too," Emily said back immediately knowing she could never hear those words coming out of the blonde's mouth enough, "And I promise I won't use my shoulder. Your left arm is too cute anyway to lose," Emily joked childishly sticking her tongue out at JJ. It had been a rough week and Emily was more than glad to be going home.

JJ had Emily fill out the paperwork and returned for the doctor and a wheelchair.

"Hey I think you guys forgot I got shot in the shoulder not the leg, I can walk!" Emily said protesting at the sight of the wheelchair.

"Babe, it is protocol. I'm sorry just let me get you out the doors and you can walk the rest of the way," JJ said giving the strong brunette a sense of her strength back. JJ knew that Emily was hurting in more than just the way her shoulder hurt but her pride was hurting. Will had taken away her pride and almost taken away the love of her life and best friend.

The doctor explained everything that JJ and Emily needed to know and discharged Emily. Once to the car JJ decided it was now or never and she needed to ask.

"Em, can I ask you something?" JJ asked quietly.

"JJ you can always ask me whatever you want, what's up?" Emily said resting her hand on JJ's knee as JJ put the car into gear and started the drive home.

"Are you ok? The last few nights I noticed you've been waking up in a cold sweat with this sad look in your eyes, I know you didn't want me to notice so I didn't say anything until now," JJ approached the subject.

"Yeah I'm fine Jayj, thank you. I just had a couple of nightmares that's all. It's ok," Emily said and JJ could tell that Emily was trying to compartmentalize all of her feelings and put the wall up. JJ didn't want to push the subject, not this soon with Emily getting out of the hospital. JJ also knew that Emily would open up with time but as the wall that Emily guarded herself went up JJ couldn't help but to feel hurt.

"Em, it's ok. I'm here when you want to talk," JJ said while failing to hide the hurt behind her voice.

"I'm sorry," Em said and the two remained silent the rest of the way home. It was going to be a long hard journey before either agents would be healed completely.


	20. Tears

A/N: Here's another chapter. I'm really trying but life is crazy right now with everything I have going on. I'm leaving this at somewhat of a cliffhanger just to see if it motivates me more… Thank you for all the reviews and everything! Love you guys seriously!

By the time JJ pulled into Emily's driveway, the tension in the car could be cut with a knife. Both women had closed off to one another with no intentions of being the first one to open up. JJ understood Emily's need to compartmentalize and the need to deal with things on her own, in fact she had that same need from time to time but right now JJ knew that Emily needed to open up or the tension would not go away.

JJ quickly and silently climbed out of Emily's car and hurried to the trunk to grab the bags that held the belongings the two had needed for Emily's week in the hospital and went around to help Emily out of the car. Once she got around to the other side she could see that Emily was struggling to do it on her own.

"Emily, let me help you," JJ said softly, treading lightly, knowing the brunette needed to do this on her own and feel independent.

"I can do it myself Jayj," Emily said snapping back at JJ immediately seeing the hurt on her face. JJ was shocked and just took a step back.

Entering the house JJ didn't know what to do. This was the first time Emily had ever snapped at her beyond the fights they had as friends and they had been outside the awkwardness of Emily's home.

"I'm going to lie down," Emily said shortly as she walked towards the bedroom JJ had stayed in. Emily could feel the pain of hurting JJ and it felt similar to the pain she had felt when she had hurt because JJ was with Will. Emily knew that if JJ left her this time it would crush her and with everything they had shared the week in the hospital she felt as if she couldn't risk getting close right now and opening up more would only break her heart even more if JJ were to walk away from their current situation so Emily did what Emily did best. She stuck the feelings of the nightmares, the pain, both physical and emotional, into their little compartments that they belonged in and took one of the pain pills the doctor had prescribed her. She heard JJ move throughout the condo and thought she heard the soft sounds of sobs coming from the other room which brought tears to Emily's eyes. Crying was not something Emily did often and not many things made Emily cry but her heart broke even more when she heard the sounds come from the other room. She didn't move however with the pain in her shoulder taking over and the pills kicked in knocking Emily out into a fit of slumber that included the nightmares that were causing her insecurities in the first place.

In the other room JJ allowed a moment to sob. She knew due to the baby she needed to pull herself back together before she let herself fall apart completely. Had she ever hurt this bad before? _Yes you have. Remember? Emily didn't mean to hurt you._ JJ thought to herself as she remembered the pain she felt when she had told Emily about Will, and again the pain when the man she trusted began beating her on a regular basis, and then there was the pain of Emily's look when Emily arrived at the hospital that night. Like Emily had with JJ, the moment Emily was able to have visitors JJ hadn't left the brunette's side. JJ knew Emily needed her space and JJ knew that Emily was used to being the strong person. She was the diplomat, the daughter of the distinguished Ambassador at that and because of that Emily rarely depended on other people and rarely showed emotions. From the very beginning JJ had seen Agent Prentiss out in the field; she had known that Emily was no normal agent. She had come off a desk job in the Midwest and gone straight onto the field in one of the most heinous areas the FBI had to offer. After Emily had gotten to know the team, the Hankel case had come up and Emily saw it as her prime time to shine when it came to JJ. She used her compartmentalizing to act strong when in reality she saw the fear, the pain, and the regret behind those ocean blue eyes. JJ knew that Emily had never intended to hurt her but it didn't stop the tears from falling fast and falling hard.

JJ pulled herself together and wiped the tears from her face to go and check on Emily. Emily had fallen asleep in what looked like a painful position but was probably the only position she'd be comfortable in for awhile with the injured shoulder. Emily heard JJ walk into the room being in between nightmares and murmured JJ's name and what sounded like _I'm sorry. _JJ hadn't heard it but realized that Emily had been sweating and worried about what the nightmares could be about.

Nightmares were something that came along with the job description along with everything that they saw when it came to the worst of society. JJ had had her share; in fact it had been quite the problem when sharing a bed with Will. Even thought he had his experience in the field as a detective back in New Orleans he couldn't quite understand it when JJ woke up in the middle of the night screaming about an unsub chasing a member of the team, or Emily dying. It had been a constant fear for awhile because JJ knew that their job was dangerous and she didn't want to die or Emily to die before their feelings were out and open on the table. When Emily had been shot, JJ refused to close her eyes for two days until the doctor had given her something to calm her nerves and sleep dreamlessly.

JJ sat on edge as she unpacked some of her and Emily's things and started to clean the condo to calm her nerves. A few hours had passed when JJ heard a crash in the bedroom and the sound of Emily's voice cursing. JJ ran to the room to see blood stain Emily's shirt and tears rolling down her eyes as her foot had become caught during a nightmare in the sheet and she had fallen off the bed crashing to the ground.


	21. Forgive

A/N: Well either the cliffhanger worked or my own personal angst is helping my muse I'm hoping it's the first. Here is another chapter. I'm disappointed on the lack of reviews the last chapter got but still here is another one. Thanks to diaza44, CAFBOV, and Pink Jover for the awesome reviews that make me smile.

Emily felt the pain rip through her shoulder as she crashed to the ground. She remembered the dream vividly. She had come home from a case to find JJ packing her bags.

"_I can't do this Emily. I love Will," JJ said with a sad look in her eyes._

The words resounded in her head as she heard JJ quickly run to the bedroom. Emily felt the hot tears run down her face and not for the pain or the fear that blood was now soaking through her shirt.

"Emily, what happened? Are you ok?" JJ said rushing to the floor beside Emily trying to untangle Emily's foot that was still caught in her sheets. Emily sat back dumbfounded letting JJ move the sheets and winced as JJ held onto her good arm helping her up.

"I guess I got tangled and fell. I'm ok JJ," Emily said softly trying to wipe away the tears before JJ could see them and she failed as she saw JJ look up at her and tears filled the blue eyes.

"You're not okay. What's wrong? Let's get you out of this shirt and see if you need to go back to the hospital," JJ said quickly realizing this meant seeing Emily without a shirt on and color began to rise in her cheeks. Emily realized the same amount of awkwardness between the once best friends that were now caught in between a friendship and a relationship.

"No hospital Jayj, please I don't want to go back there. I can handle this," Emily said standing up to grab a shirt from her chest of drawers.

"Ok, where do you keep your gauze and first aid then?" JJ asked and Emily told her where to go as JJ retreated to the hall closet that carried anything that would be needed from a simple splinter to if an earthquake hit. JJ stood amazed for a minute staring at the closet and laughed to herself. Emily had once said she was prepared for anything, JJ now knew she had meant it.

JJ returned and helped Emily get the shirt off the injured shoulder and would try to scrub the blood out of it later. Emily blushed as she stood there in nothing but a bra in front of JJ and couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable because of the closeness of the blonde.

"You really meant it when you said you were prepared for anything. I have never seen a first aid kit quite like that Em," JJ said joking trying to clear the tension from the air but the joke came out pained and Emily could tell that the blonde was hurting just about as bad as she was.

"Always be prepared. Boy scouts honor," Emily said making yet another pained joke. She knew they would need to talk but right now she was trying to bite the bullet when it came to the pain the bullet Will LaMontagne Jr had put into her shoulder.

"Emily, you did boy scouts?" JJ asked a little taken back by the fact that Emily had mentioned boy scouts or anything about her childhood for that matter.

"Yeah, my mother used to joke that she had two sons instead of just my brother. I got kicked out girl scouts for being too rough and wanting to learn everything about the outdoors. My mom eventually had me spend some summers up in the French mountains with my grandfather. We did nothing but learn the woods and that's when he decided boy scouts would be good for me," Emily said mentioning a brother and more about Emily's childhood than JJ had ever heard before.

"I didn't know you had a brother?" JJ asked as she quickly gauzed up Emily's wound that had just broken open a little bit and helping Emily get a new shirt on. Emily quickly sat back against the headboard of the bed and JJ sat Indian style in front of her. _Here comes the talk. Maybe she'll open up to me. _JJ hoped.

"I had a brother yes," Emily said with a sad look in her eyes. "He was 13 when he died, I was 15. His name was Erik Gustaf Prentiss. We always used to joke that he had such a plain first name and then mom and dad had stuck him with some prestigious middle name like they had mine. Of course my middle name is just my mother's name but in the Prentiss household having the Ambassador's name as part of yours was a big deal. Anyway, we were coming home from my grandfather's house up in the mountains one summer and our driver lost control of the car. We went over an embankment. They were both killed instantly. I barely had a scratch. I never went back to my grandfather's after that. I couldn't bear the drive home," Emily revealed allowing a tear for her brother to flow from her face. JJ's eyes had tears in them, sad for Emily, and knowing her own story was quite tragically similar.

"I'm so sorry Emily. Losing a sibling is one of the hardest things in life to do," JJ said wiping the tear from her own face and wiping the tears from Emily's. Emily wanted to lean into the touch but resisted as she wondered how JJ knew this.

"He wanted to work law enforcement, so I took his dream and just went a little further with it. Come to find out it was my dream too and it led me to you so I can never regret going down this pathway, injuries or not," Emily said softly. This was the most she had opened up to anyone on the team but JJ was more than just a member of the team. Emily knew that even though they had never been together that she had loved JJ from the start even when they had just been friends.

"Your injury isn't exactly job related Emily. So what happened? Why did your foot get tangled and why were you crying when I got in here?" JJ said prying a little further.

"Since the second day I woke up in the hospital, I've been having nightmares Jennifer. I'm sorry I've snapped at you and I've been distant but I just don't think I can handle the pain if these nightmares were to happen and it's bad enough dreaming about it," Emily said confusing JJ even more. _What is she talking about?_ JJ thought to herself.

JJ quickly wiped another tear from her face as she saw the pain in Emily's eyes and she realized that she had caused this pain. This pain had been caused by when she had walked away from Emily in the first place to go for Will LaMontagne, it had been caused by the constant outings where Will had come along to keep JJ on a tight rope, it had been caused by JJ allowing Will to control her and leave bruises on her, and it had been caused by Emily's own insecurities. JJ knew that this pain, pain brought on so very unintentionally, would take time and only JJ would be able to make this pain go away.

"What are the nightmares? Talk to me baby," JJ said softly wiping the tear away from Emily's face again and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. This time Emily allowed herself to lean into the touch and JJ quickly leaned forward kissing the brunette ever so softly. Emily's heart fluttered as JJ had made the first move.

"In every dream it's the same. You've changed your mind and I come home to you packing your bags except Will's still alive and your leaving me for him all over again," Emily said breaking down into a silent sob as JJ quickly and carefully embraced Emily.

"I'm so sorry Em. I'm sorry I did that to you and I'm sorry you are still afraid of it but baby," JJ said carefully guiding Emily's chin so that she looked up to her in the eyes. Emily quickly shut her eyes not wanting to see those blue eyes, fearing what was next, "Open your eyes Emily. I'm not going anywhere this time. I love you and I've come to terms with the fact that I'm madly in love with a woman. I'm not scared anymore. Please forgive me," JJ said slowly rocking Emily as she let tears fall down her own face.


	22. Facing Demons Together

A/N: So I think this is going to be the last chapter of this story. Forgive me. But I am writing a new one, it is a character death story but I promise there will be some points of happiness in it. I will then also work on wrapping up Unhappy. Thank you all for the reviews and I hope you will continue to read my writings. Song in this chapter is The Last Night by Skillet.

After their talk Emily and JJ quickly fell into a slumber and slept better than they had in weeks. They were together now and while each had their own demons they had to face, they knew they could face it together. Emily was the first to awake and noticed warmth curled up into her good side. Thinking her cat Chauncey had curled up beside her when she had fallen asleep the night before, Emily cleared her mind and looked to see JJ clinging to her. The events of the previous night and the last few weeks flooded back to her and tears of happiness filled her eyes. JJ was finally hers, they were finally together. She felt the pain in her shoulder and knew that it was worth it if it meant JJ was finally safe.

JJ sensed Emily moving and quickly looked up.

"Good morning," JJ yawned as she was leaning up for a kiss. She kissed Emily with such passion Emily could've sworn she was going to pass out from lack of air.

"Good morning to yourself. I'm not dreaming?" Emily said jokingly with a hint of seriousness behind her voice.

"Emily I'm not going anywhere," JJ sat up trying not to jar Emily too much with the hurt shoulder.

"I never thought I'd ever have this. I use to lay awake for hours wanting you to be mine, and knowing you were his. I almost couldn't take it anymore. There were a few nights after you had come to visit me with the last fight and I didn't know if I could even make it through the night Jennifer. I couldn't bear to see you hurt and JJ I just don't know what would've happened if this wouldn't have happened," Emily rambled her confession.

"Emily, I'm not going anywhere. I love you, I have loved you since the first week I knew you. You'll never have to feel that way again," JJ said kissing Emily softly on the cheek. Emily's alarm went off at the same time it did every day and this time a song came on the radio. JJ listened to the lyrics and how ironically they fit the current situation.

This is the last night you'll spend alone  
Look me in the eyes so I know you know  
I'm everywhere you want me to be  
The last night you'll spend alone  
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go  
I'm everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault  
But they don't know you like I know you  
They don't know you at all  
I'm so sick of when they say  
It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine  
But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone  
Look me in the eyes so I know you know  
I'm everywhere you want me to be  
The last night you'll spend alone  
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go  
I'm everything you need me to be  
The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong  
If you give me your hand  
I will help you hold on  
Tonight, tonight

"Emily, you never have to be alone again. You never have to hurt again like that. We can heal each other. But we have to open up. Do not compartmentalize me," JJ begged.

"I always tried to JJ but to be honest, I never really could tuck everything away," Emily confessed. Emily could feel a weight coming off of her shoulder. She knew they had a lot to work on as JJ was due to have a baby in the next 7 months and the relationship was so new but there was one thing she was certain of, she wanted this. She wanted to wake up to JJ every morning, and she wanted a family with her.

"I know, and it killed me to see that pain. That's why I risked telling Will, I couldn't hurt you anymore and I couldn't be away from my own happiness anymore. I know it's going to be difficult and I don't blame you if that when this little one comes along you don't want to be a part of that but Emily I love you," JJ said shying away when bringing up the baby.

"JJ, I want this. I want to help you raise this baby, I want to be a family with you. There's nothing I've wanted more in the world," Emily told JJ lifting her chin to force her to look her in the eyes.

With that, both women knew that whatever demons they had to face in the future, whatever monsters they may hunt, and whatever nightmares they may see, they would do it together, not only as friends, but as two women madly in love with each other, willing to lay down their lives for their love and for each other. Seven months from now, they would add to their love with baby Henry Jareau Prentiss and a year from then they would be married. They both knew it would never be easy, facing the opposition of the higher ups in the FBI and the fraternization rules but they would face them together.

A/N: I'm sad to leave this story but I hope it does justice. THANK YOU!!


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